M.Y.S.P.A.C.E.

I’m a stalker.

Is there anyone’s m.y.s.p.a.c.e. that you stalk on a regular basis?

I was going through my regular rounds hitting all the websites I visit on a daily and I was just paying attention to some of my bad habits.

Why do I have to visit his babymothers page everrrrrrrrryday?

My boyfriend calls me a private detective because I seem to have a way of finding out whatever information I need to. I am just soo nosey.

I found her page back when she first starting calling the boyfriend. All I had was her nickname and I still found that page. I wanted to know what she looked liked (oh nothing special) but more importantly I wanted to see what his son was like. Alright looking kid. Resemblances the boyfriend a lot with some of his mothers looks sprinkled in for affect .

But I’m like now, I know what she + the kid looks like so why do I still need to visit her site. I mean its not like she ever updates the thing anyway. Mental note to self…..STOP!

When me and the boyfriend first starting talking and he was sweating me real hard, he had a couple of chicken head friends he was conversing with. I was trying hard to brush him off even tho I was feeling him. I was afraid of getting in another relationship. Afraid of being hurt again.

I would tell him to talk to other girls and stop devoting soo much of his time with me because it wasn’t happening. I was talking to other people so I wanted him to understand that I was not trying to get into no more bad heart ache relationships because I felt like I would die if I got hurt again.

Eventually he listened and developed a friendship with some high school chicken head named Kha.ila in an attempt to get me jealous. He came to my house one day when I made him set up a myspace page (I ended up hating I did lol) so he could be my friend. He called ole girl because he wanted to see what her page looked like since they had never met. He said she was ugly by the way hehe.

Why have I been checking her page every since? It’s been almost two years since me and him first got together and I am still checking her page when he stopped talking to her at the same time we finally got together.

Not to mention she made her page private and I still check.

Her page has kinda become like a soap opera to me. My space is kinda like that because people put soo much into their lives on those pages they just don’t know how much of themselves they are giving away.

She has like moved to another city, in college, with some cheater dude who got her pregnant now.

He told me once that she was his second choice if I had never come around. I guess he would be on baby number 3 with her if he had got with her tho.

Scary.

But yea I probably will forever stalk these 2 pages now . I don’t think I will stop. I am just too obsessed now with it.

I’ll probably stay tuned to the babymomma page just to see if she will ever post new pictures ..*boring*

Yea I’m pitiful.

Four Day Weekend

I am going to enjoy this 4 day weekend.

I don’t have any plans for Labor Day tho. I miss the days when ALL of us came together for a bar-b-q and just partied and had a good time. You know like a family is supposed to. I miss that. It makes me want to have a little family of my own. My very wise and smart man says “no we cannot afford” and you know he is soo right. Babies are cute but I need to figure out a way to pay for that booger first.

I was thinking, with all these women getting knocked up with no father in the picture, it does make me wonder are the women the ones convincing the men to impregnate them.

I started getting baby fever around age 22 and I would bring up to my ex from time to time that we should have a little one but he would always quickly knock down my idea.

I bring it up from time to time with Bj and he says “not right now”, but I know if I continued to press the issue I could easily convince him to have one with me.

I just wonder how many men that have impregnated these women were unwilling parties.

You know most men are easy to talk into doing stuff especially when they care about you. They love to please us ladies.

Even if the men were talked into getting their woman pregnant it does not excuse them from taking care of the baby once it is here and the relationship doesn’t work out like they had hoped.

I am just saying, I bet it was a lot of women that talked these men into getting them pregnant when they were not ready and now are mad because they not taking care of it.

Bj has a baby mama. A couple actually. It was one of the reasons that I did not want to get with him in the beginning but he won me over. Baby Mama #2 just came back into his life last year and has really been a thorn in his side because he is not being the father he should right now.

I don’t know how I feel about that. He doesn’t want to deal with her for a couple of reasons. The girl talks to him crazy every time she does call. I am not used to that. I told him I am the only one that gets to talk to you crazy like that lol. She is not fucking you anymore. But I digress. I know it is probably hard on her doing it all on her own.

Also he doesn’t just get to have the boy whenever he wants. He can’t just go get him. He has to play by her rules. She has to come along whenever he decides to do something with him. He says he wants to wait until he is older to be in his life because he does not want to deal with her. I would probably feel the same way no kidding but he did decide to have a child with her so the kid should not get punished because of the way his mother is.

I also don’t want to be the reason he is not in this child’s life which he says I am not. He tells me I am the reason that he will be in his life sooner than later because I always ask about the boy and if he has talked to him. Whenever the girl calls I do push him to answer. I don’t know if thats right or not. I don’t think I should be forcing him to be in the boy’s life but I know if I pressured him about it he would be more active in it. Funny but my opinion on this matters to him a lot. I am going to stop doing that tho. Its not my kid and I don’t want to be like his baby’s mother forcing him to see the boy when the child is not mine lol.

He made me mad though when we broke up ……for a day lol . He did tell the girl he would start seeing the boy more so I told him that makes me feel like I am the one coming in between you and seeing your child. Why?

N T Way.

I hope everyone has a good Labor Day weekend. I will enjoy my time off even if  I don’t do anything else. Maybe we can catch a movie or something. We haven’t did anything in awhile as a couple.