I Hate My New Neighbors

She loud. She ghetto. She ignant.

Her kids are loud. Her kids are always in my damn way when I am walking out of my townhome and I really just wish they would move!!!

Dammit I like my privacy. And they are invading my space. Am I racist if I say I don’t like to live by black people?

I’m sorry but damn it I hate drama and shit and whenever black people move near me they always seem to bring it.

I been staying here going on 3 years now and now all of a sudden I am thinking about moving.

How about I have been having my car sitting up for months now because I was going to get it fixed but then later changed my mind and decided fuck it let it rot. I just never had pickyourpart come and pick it up but its been sitting in my damn parking spot. MINE MINE MINE. Minding its own damn business and I don’t know who but dammit I wished I did know because they ass would be mine. Anyways some little fucker decides to bust the window on my car. This happened right after the hurricane so at first I thought Ike did it but then one day the boyfriend talked me into cleaning out the car so I could scrap it and lo and behold I found out someone tried to steal the cd player I had in there. Also the key on the passenger side had been picked. I was a mad bitch at that time but I still didn’t have it moved.

Yesterday I get home from work and I see the back driver side window had a hole in it as if someone threw a baseball through it. I was steaming then because I didn’t know who had done it and was mad that the little fucker had the nerve do it right up under  my damn nose while I am in the house chillin. All I had to do was step outide and catch they ass. What balls they have.

Last night, I needed some cigarettes soo bad so we about to go to the store and saw the little fucker had not only completely finished off the back driver side window but had also completely busted the back window. Fucked up my whole night. I don’t give a fuck if it is a piece of shit car and has been sitting there what gives you the right to tear up my shit!!

You don’t know how mad I was about this shit last night. I couldnt even resume what we had been doing before we had even went outside. I went back in the house raised the windows in my living room and listened because oooh I wanted to catch they little ass soo badly because it seemed like they wasn’t going to stop until they had they fun busting all the windows out.

Now I don’t know for sure if the ones next door did it or not but I do know that she had been complaining to her landlord to move MY CAR. What tha hell?

And lastnight when I was listening for them it sound like i heard a rock hit my living room window or me and the boyfriend may have just been listening for a reason to go out there and charge they ass up but the next thing I know my man had ran out the door and was yelling at them about throwing rocks at our window and I his ride or die chick was right behind him not even asking about the rock that hit my window but was asking them about my car lol.

Slept with the window open upstairs too and the fan off so I could hear knowing I am a hard sleeper but I tried to sleep with one eye open because I wanted to catch they ass soo bad.

Spent the whole day waiting on a tow truck to come and get the car which he never did and I swear if I go out there and see another window busted I am going to bust someone’s azzz!! I don’t know who’s but I will find one to bust.

I was yelling at everybody kids today because anytime I heard someone even near my car I was outside telling they ass off. DONT FUCKING SIT ON MY CAR, JUMP ON MY CAR , OR TOUCH MY CAR. ITS NOT A FUCKING PLAY TOY. GO PLAY WITH YOUR OWN MAMA’S CAR.

All I do everyday is go to work and come home and mind my own but I see I am going to start showing my face a little more around this damn place. Folks wanna fuck with my shit around here.

Thinkin about moving. I can’t stand staying around  bad ass kids and they ghetto ass parents.

Everything Is Good

I really don’t have much to write about ya’ll. Everything is good. Me and mine getting along just fine. I love that man! He brings soo much joy into my life. We are enjoying life. I cannot wait to be engaged, married, barefoot and pregnant with little Chris’ and Bryants running around. Ha Ha. Living the good life.

As for work, more things have changed as usual. This is really one of the most can’t make up their fucking minds companies I and I am sure you have ever worked for. Shit is always changing. Remember last month I made a post that they had something else up their sleeve. Read here. But this time the change was actually something I liked. I can digg it. <smile> No more fucking s-a-l-e-s. Hallelujah!! Thank you Jesus! We do s-t-r-a-i-g-h-t customer service now. Something I always wanted to do. I hate to fucking sale. I don’t even know how I allowed myself to get roped into that type of job atmosphere anyway, but it is a paycheck and an easy one at that now. People call in now wanting to c-a-n-c-e-l their member-ships and I process their fucking cancellation without one fucking effort. Booooooo bitch get off my line. Its funny the customers are like aren’t you going to try to convince me to keep it. Naw Bitch your ass is cancelled!!!!!!!!!!!! Gone about your business if you don’t want it then you don’t have to have it. People I swear? When you try to pitch a sale to them they don’t want to hear it but get mad when you don’t sale to their ass lol. Unfucking believable…

But as I stated this job is always changing so I don’t expect for it to stay like this too long. I am sure eventually they will find some way for us to start back doing s-a-l-e-s even tho they just let go of the s-a-l-e-s dept last month. Can’t make up their fucking mind I tell you but I am going to ride this wave while it lasts. My job is such a freaking joy now. Calls are sloooow right now which is soo unusual for this company. Usually they are back to back all day to where I can’t even get a breath in between. Soo they have been letting people A-u-t-o now which is basically when the calls are slow they have a number of spots available for people to go home who choose to. This is bad because I don’t know how to turn that down. I have been doing A-u-t-o for the last couple of weeks and my last check was hurting because of it. Its funny my co-workers get mad at me because I leave everyday early.

Whatever! Hell they have the option to do so too but they pass it up so why they make their little snide remarks about me going home everyday I would not know. Mad because they can’t I guess. Hell its me going home with a small ass paycheck so why the fuck you hating guys?? Its funny because everybody want to go home early on Friday tho and let my ass be the one to get an A-u-t-o spot. Good Lord! All I hear is “she been going home early all week”. Ummm didn’t your ass have the option to as well which you decide to pass up. To me A-u-t-o is like a long deserved vacation for me. Soon the calls will be back to back again and we all will be complaining glued to our fucking seats. Not going a got damn where. Give me a break.

But that is pretty much all that is going on with me and as you can tell its not much buts its alll good

Love ya

I am just venting about my love

I love my Bf but gosh darn we have been arguing a lot lately . I think we are just too darn alike and we’re bumping heads because of it. Aquarius and Taurus are two of the most stubborn people you could ever meet and both signs like to have their way. Its soo funny when we argue and try to talk about one another because the things we point out in each other that we don’t like are the same behaviors that we both exhibit lol. I guess it is really true that things we don’t like in other people are our own defects. I always tell him he needs to look in the mirror. For instance he will tell me “You don’t listen. You always cut me off in the middle of my sentences. You don’t allow me to speak.” Which is true but he does it to. Sometimes when we are arguing about me cutting him off, he will go and cut me off while I am talking. What the hell? I am like why is it okay for you to do that. I do it more I admit. Its just he talks sooo much and its hard for me to not get in there and respond to some of the things that he says. I am impatient but he doesn’t give me time to respond. If I just let him go on and on and on and on and on I will forget about half the things he said at the start of the conversation. I feel like if I don’t interject that I’ll never get a change to respond to it. Now how do you get around that?

And either he has a bad memory or I have a bad memory. My memory is pretty darn good so of course its him. It annoys the hell out of me when he will try and tell me things that I said that I know I did not say or even when I tell him I said such and such he will tell me I didn’t say it. Smart mouth will say something like “Oh man I must have been sleep”. I can strangle him when he does this I swear. This is by far the worst pet peeve of mine that he does because its like he might as well say I am delusional. And I can never bring up the past with him and call him out on something he said because he never remembers saying it. He will say “I said that? Oh man. I am not saying I didn’t but I don’t remember it.” Well thats the end of the conversation. How can we discuss something that you don’t remember saying.

He re-writes history in his mind. He will say something and when I try to bring it back up later in the conversation when not even 2 minutes has gone by to try and make a point he’ll switch what he said around to have it mean something different than what he actually did say. So I have to go back back back back to the beginning of that conversation and basically re-discuss it until he realizes that he did in fact say what I said he did in the fist place. By then I am too exhausted to go back to where we left off in the conversation. By then, I have wasted all my time and efforts on something he forgot he said. Why must we got thru this all of the time? lol We are considering tape recording ALL OF OUR CONVERSATIONS. It is just that serious!

I wonder if marijauna does really cause short term memory loss?

He is defensive and doesn’t like to be told anything. I have this character flaw as well tho. I told you we are the same person almost. Before I tell an example, I hate to wash dishes. Eww! Hate it with a passion so we try to wash them after we use them but usually one of us will get lazy and put a dish there which causes the other person to get lazy and add their dish to that one and so and so on until we looking at a sink full of dishes. I had just cleaned the whole house and we was about to go upstairs but before he did he went and put a dish in the sink. OMG!! I heard the little “ting”. You know the sound of dishes hitting the sink. So I just said “Babe can you wash that please.” He says “You didn’t even give me a chance i was going to get it.” I swore when I came up in there he was walking away from the sink but still I probably should have just said “Ok” but instead I say ” You know if I had not said anything you would not have washed it.” He admitted that he wasn’t gonna wash it. Ok.

We argued about juice the other day. Juice? He bought two different kinds of Capri Suns and I guess he was keeping track of how many of one kind I drunk more than the other so he ask me something about not drinking all of one kind. He could not understand how I upset I got at that. I am like it’s petty thats why. I have brought soo many things up into this house that I have only gotten one bite out of and you darn near ate the whole thing but I never make a big deal out of it. I never trip over food and I am usually the one that buys the groceries???? I hardly ever ask him to put in on it. I don’t care about that. So ok I drunk a couple of more fruit punches than pink lemonades why is that a big deal? I tried to make him see it my way by saying “what if I didn’t like pink lemonade? And You didn’t tell me the limit I could have on each one if you did I would not be upset.” Plus, I feel if he loves me he shouldn’t care if I drunk the whole damn box, in my eyes. You or I can go take 3 dollars and go buy another one. It’s not that serious.

When I made groceries the other day we bought too more boxes from H-E-B who had it on sale for a dollar. Good price on that by the way! You know I had to get him because he damn near drunk one box by himself. Last night I go to get one and the box was empty so I made a comment about it. He’s like “yea WE drunk those pretty fast.” WE?? Yea umm one of us more than the other. I was like but I am not tripping over it and he was like yea and I won’t no more either and gave me a kiss. Thats all I was trying to get him to see.

His driving causes more arguments. It is another sensitive topic. He thinks he is the best driver in the world but has gotten more traffic tickets in the last 6 months than most people have gotten in their life. Which is one of the reasons why we are strapped for cash right now. When I am in the car it is hard for me not to comment but when I do that causes the biggest argument ever. I am cautious soo sorry if I see you about to run over somebody I am going to point it out.

The stuff we argue about is mostly petty tho. I think we need to get out more but money has been tight so we just stuck in the house and I guess taking it out on each other. I say he changed he was not like this before and he says I changed too and I say I changed because you changed.

Yesterday, I felt soo unhappy. There was nothing he could do to bring me out of it. I was just soo mentally drained and exhausted from the last few days of arguing that I just wanted to call it quits for real. He kept saying things like we can work on it, it’s gonna get better, but it’s like my mind would not let me receive what he was saying until he had all his shit packed and was about to leave. Thats when I snapped and was like damn this is real and am I really ready to give up on us. I know I am wrong for that but I was being stubborn and I knew deep down I didn’t really want to end it. I was just frustrated. I should have spoke up before I let it get to that point but I didn’t. What can I say?

I love my snookums. Things between us was soo beautiful 1 and 1/2 years ago ….He say we can get it back like that. I am going to work on me because I know there are some things I can change.

I wish you could buy patience sometimes.

Hi, I’m Christina, and I am a Snob

HI, CHRISTINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

I called my Aunt today. I don’t know. I kind of missed the old gal. I read a quote the other day about life being bland or other and people add the flavor. I believe at age 26 and after oh soo many loss of loved ones I do get it. I used to be like “oh I got my man (but where is his ass now?) and I don’t need them” or “Oh them people don’t even much care about me, they don’t even call me” “They just happy to be rid of me”. Maybe its all me. Maybe that isn’t what it is. I don’t know but I guess it isn’t right for me to just sit around expecting people to call me and to go out of their way to be apart of my life and to show me they care. I am not used to it, but I am going to have to make more of an effort too if I want to stay in contact since these people got this idea in their head that I want to be left alone. Baby steps.

But anyways I call her. She didn’t answer at first, but she called me back after about 30 minutes. We started talking and gossiping like old times. I shared with her the fact that man I feel soo alone in this world sometimes and basically she said to me I seem like I don’t like people. That hurt. It is true that I have never been much of a people person. I am quiet and to myself most of the time but I never want to give off the vibe, especially to my family, that I don’t like them. She was like yea you seem kind of snobbish and act sometimes like you don’t want to be bothered. Man I have been hearing this shit since I was a kid. I have been called a bitch and stuck-up all throughout my childhood. However to me it is just a presumption some people make before they get to know me. I don’t think I am better than anyone. I just come across that way to some people.

Wait a minute. I did a yahoo search on the word snob and came up with this:

How To Prevent Acting Snobbish

Sometimes people act snobbish because they really are snobbish, while others just seem to come across as a snob without intending too. Whether you really are snobbish at heart or not, follow these steps to prevent yourself from acting snobbish.

Ok so lemme read on and see if I am really a snob or if I just come across that way??? I mean I wanna know now.

Step1

• Understand that most people view a snob as someone who thinks that they are better than most other people are. Sometimes this reflects the person’s background, such as how their parents raised them or their financial status. On the other hand, a snob might think they are smarter intellectually than others are.

Now, I definitely don’t think I am better than anyone. Honestly. I am pretty great but I know there are people somewhere in this world ( I mean its quite funny I haven’t come across them tho..just kidding) that look better than me and are way better off than I am . However I admit my attitude does say differently sometimes. I do carry myself in a way that could be considered having my nose in the air but thats just my swagger. Sorry you don’t like it but It’s all an act. Its hard for me to just relax and be myself around people unless I really really know you and am comfortable around you. Soooo wow I am really getting to know myself right now and trying to be my own psychiatrist. LOL, but I guess my psychiatrist would say that the way I carry myself is just me hiding behind my own insecurities and where some people you see carry themselves with confidence mine just comes across as being arrogant instead of confident all because I don’t smile with it. I think thats it. Its all because 1. I’m quiet. 2. I am too much off to myself. 3. I have a hard time smiling. 4. I am not friendly. And if I carried myself the same way I do now and talked more to people, wasn’t soo much to myself, and smile more and befriended them my snobbishness would then be viewed as a confidenct butterfly. To sum this all up I should smile more I guess and adjust my attitude.

I also think this is really also just something else that I inherited from my father’s side(I get all my bad traits from him). I have heard comments from my mom’s side of the family that his family are a little stuck up. Also when I look at my niece who is my brother’s child I see parts of myself in her. She is 11 and her mother has said people see her sometimes as thinking she is all that when she really is a sweetie pie. I do see it tho. Its just the way she carries herself. She walks tall with her head held high but like me she doesn’t have a smiley disposition so she always looks bored. When I take her out I am always looking at her to make sure she is entertained and if she is having fun it doesn’t really show on her face. So I always ask “D you ok?” She tells me “I am fine. I am having fun.” I try to smile more but It is soo hard. I have to always have my mind on smiling for me to just look like that. And I am sorry but life is moving too fast for me to just always be self consciously thinking about smiling. Too much work. I smile and then a few seconds later I am right back to my regular ole mean mugging bored as hell look.

Step2

• Remember that you should accept other people for who they are. The world would be a very boring place if everyone was the same. People are different and that’s what makes them who they are.

I do accept people for who they are thats why I don’t understand why people don’t just accept me for who I am …NEXT!

Step3

• Respect everyone you meet. This doesn’t mean that you have to be their best friend, but say “hello,” smile and be friendly. Show a genuine interest in other people and show concern for issues that they may be dealing with. Have concern for people’s feelings.

I could use a little work on this but if anyone goes out of their way to talk to me I do smile and greet them with a warm hello. I do show concern for peoples issues. I am sometimes blunt and direct so I could do a little better about having concern for their feelings but thats just me.

Step4

• Look at yourself. Decide what makes you come off as a snob. Maybe you are so busy and thinking about your life, you don’t smile at people. This would make you look like a snob. On the other hand, maybe you grew up as a very popular person, and began to think subconsciously you were better than some people were.

The highlighted part is definitely me and my bf has told me that I look soo serious sometimes kinda like I wanna kill someone. I am such a serious person and I am an Aquarius remember so we smart, always thinking and creating new ideas so I don’t really have time to think about a smile and guess thats what it is all boiling down too. A smile. My Aunt even said I should smile more. Damn my father and his bad traits giving me his unsmiling grouchy face look.

Step5

• Be outgoing when you are around other people. Be talkative and initiate conversations with people. Sometimes being shy and quiet can make people mistakenly think that you are actually being snobbish.

And this will never be me. I have come out of my shell a lot since school days but I have never been the talkative type. I am me. Its funny how this article says to accept people for who they are but I have to change me.

But to sum it all up yes I will try to smile more been trying to do this for years tho. To my aunt No I am not a snobb . I may have snobbish ways but if you take to time to get to know me and look past the exterior you may like what you see.

-The Farthest I Can Please You Is To Just Be Me. I Stay True And Say How I Feel .. And Thats Really Too Bad If You Don’t Like My Swag..

Relationships r just that way I guess

So B kinda made me mad this morning by not taking me to work.

I left early one day this week from work so I had to make it up today by going in on a Saturday (eww!) from 8-3. He did tell me last nite that he had to get to work early so he wouldn’t be able to drop me off I’d have to take the bus because he had to leave the house at 5. Yes he did say that. But….

I woke up this morning, looked at the clock it read 5:30 and he was not in the bed with me. I thought maybe he had left without saying goodbye. Never that. I found him in the music room on his beats. He was burning a cd to listen to while driving. I gave him a kiss on the lips, went into the bathroom to get ready for work. I was going to try to hurry up and get done so I could ride with him so I would not have to catch the bus to work. I was just going to go in early instead.  I had just finished my makeup and all I had left to do was to brush my hair and put on some clothes.

It was already 6 when I came out of the restroom and he was still on the computer burning his cd. Ok. I am like are you going to be able to take me to work? He looks at me with that irratated look that I hate for him to have for me when he says he doesn’t look at me that way ever. He’s a lie. Why the irratation??? I hate anyone looking at me like I am putting them out of their way. Pride. I have a lot of it and absolutely hate asking people to do anything for me. Yes, even my man.

He tells me he is about to leave now. I tell him it will only take me 15 minutes to finish doing what I have to do. I can tell he really does not want to take me and I am like…why? Damn my job is not that much out of your way and 15 minutes more for your woman  is not going to kill you. Hell you should try to avoid me (your girl) from taking the bus if you can neways. But yea he’s like ok I will but it’s gonna make me be late to my first move and plus I am going to get home later and yadda yadda yadda..just a bunch of damn excuses.

15 minutes gonna do all that?? Come on. I probably could have rushed it and been done in 10.

I was like ok never mind. He thought my little 15 minutes left of getting ready was going to put him out of his way so be it.

So he left without saying goodbye mind you. Whatever.

I texted him after thinking about it for a minute after he left :

“That is messed up that you could not wait 15 more minutes for me to get dressed” and left it at that. He texted me back some bullshit about his move being at 7 and he had to go. Ok

I don’t know maybe I could have been more understanding, but oh I thought you were “here to make my life easier” <—-his words

Well darn a simple ride to work is inconveniencing you?

I hate how I am in relationships. I easily start resenting people because I tend to put the person I am with over everything else including myself. If he needed a ride I don’t care if he made me 30 minutes late I would have taken him. Point is he is his own boss in a way so if he get to a move late no one is there supervising or tripping. Granted I do like my way but it balances out because I am a people pleaser. I like to please those I love and when he doesn’t do something for me I get like this “woe is me” “all I got is myself” “can’t depend on nobody” syndrome.

Yea. I wanted for him to know I was upset so I cut off my phone. This nigger be too busy to text me most times. But he been texting me every hour on the hour all day.

“Baby I miss you”

“Baby I love you”

“I hope your day going good’

He knows I was upset. And I ignored everyone of them texts and missed a couiple of his calls too. Yea I am maybe overreacting a little bit like I usually do. But shows him right. Hell. He should have been texting “you are right I could have waited 15 minutes and took you to work”

I get home before 4 everyday so I keep the phone by me waiting for him to call or text. Fuck him today. He go crazy blowing me up when …oh no… normally he too busy carrying couches by hisself and trying to move the freaking world  to text me how’s he doing. He has gotten better tho.

But when I worry less about him it forces me to take better care of me and thats how it should be. Gotta remember that. Its soo easy to lose myself in a man and I forget to take care of myself.

I got off work. I kept that ringer off. No phones allowed at work so we gotta keep it out of sight. Went and got my eyebrows waxed, took myself out to eat (to Wendy’s lol), and bought me some new shit. Gotta take care of self.

I can be pretty mean sometimes.

Happy Easter!

Well I am hoping everyone had a great Easter holiday. Me and BJ got out and went to Dave n Buster’s. We desperately needed to get out and just get away from it all to clear our heads and play games and get back to enjoying each other. Now having said that, before I get to what happened at Dave n Busters, I am going to tell you that me n BJ haven’t been getting along soo well lately *gasp* . Yes, this is true. This perfect relationship – perfect communication- my knight in shining armour-man out of romance novel-man I put on a pedestal- oh I finally found a man that “gets me”- oh he is soo patient with me-oh he makes me want to become a betta person- yea him well he is just regular ole BJ now.

Now please don’t get me wrong he is still a great guy, but in case you didn’t know , I am going to tell you -“I am kind of a big deal” ( I want that shirt lol). Yea, I am a lot to handle and I can tell he is slowly running out of patience with me. Props to him for lasting soo long. My ex lasted almost 7 years but I had met my match in him so we just learned how to put up with each other shit for far too long. Men fall in love with me quickly because I got it going on *toot toot* I am pretty, I am a big girl but I wear it well, I keep myself up (meaning like hair, makeup, and clothes not exercise-wise lol), I have a nice smile, I am kindhearted, I am laid-back (as long as things are going my way), I am a great cook, I am independent chick, I got my own house, keeps it clean, ok job, no kids, know how to cater to my man, know how to stroke an ego, oh my wonderful qualities are endless.

Now as the relationship progresses, than thats when they began to see my bad qualities. Not that I was hiding those bad qualities or anything. Hell its hard for me to hide them. Them other people (in my head) just come out on their own. I try soo hard to fight it but I am an emotional person so I just react..I mean overreact lol. Gotta laugh at yourself right? I am soo honest to where I am sometimes too blunt. I told BJ from the jump how I was. He told me that I could not be any worse than what his ex was. I said “O.K.” .Altho Easter Sunday he ended up telling me I was acting like his ex *sighs*. And yes I am honest with myself I can point out my bad qualities to you. I am stubborn, I can be selfish because I like to have my way but only about some things–it’s complicated because I like to let him have his way too because I am a people pleaser. I don’t know I guess only when I want my way thats when it become a problem. I am spoiled but this kinda cancels itself out because I like to spoil him too, I am an attention grabber (unlike other spoiled folks I don’t want your attention I just want the attention of the ones that I love), I overreact, I over analyze things, I am critical, I haven’t mastered the art of “letting stuff go”, I bring shit back up, I fight over small shit that pisses me off, oh my bad qualities are endless. So while he may wanna leave its hard because he knows that I am a really good person and frankly when its good its good but when its not good well it can get real ugly.

Seriously now I can’t change myself completely and I wouldn’t want to but I am trying to work on the OVERREACTING and the LETTING SMALL STUFF GO. I think if I work those 2 out we’ll be fine. It’s gonna be hard. BJ is not innocent. He needs to work on the ALWAYS WANTING TO BE RIGHT and GOING BACK TO BEING PATIENT WITH ME (ya know before I wore his patient button out) and BEING ATTENTIVE TO ME WHILE HE IS AT WORK (now this is where he says I am demanding but hell he works all day he needs to text me more) and SEXXING ME MORE (he be “tired”)

It’s funny after writing all of that I don’t even feel like writing about what happened at Dave n Busters lol.

We got to Dave n Busters (my treat). We ate, had a drank, and then thats pretty much where the fun stopped. Bj was gonna go to the restroom before we started in on the games so I was waiting for him and then I decided I wanted to go to the restroom while he was already in the restroom. When I got out, I expected him to be waiting on me but he wasn’t he was already playing. So I just was like ok whatever I played some games and then I went over to him and we had some words and then he walked out and went to the truck and I went to the truck and we argued some more and then he took off and I tried to jump out of the truck while it was moving and he drove faster (punk) but he had to come to a light so I jumped out of the truck and took off walking. Never a dull moment. He had to keep driving because he was on the feeder and ended up parking somewhere and walking over to where he left me. We argued some more about nothing. I walked away and ended up stepping one of sandled feet into a hole in the ground that pulled off my shoe and broke off a chunk of skin on my foot that started bleeding (I know that punk was thinking thats what she get for acting like a b.i.t.c.h.). Bj tried to hand me my shoe to put back on and I told him to leave my shoe alone and he looked at the shoe and said “this is my shoe girl” (oh yea thats right it was). So then I took off the other one and refused to put back on “his shoes” even tho he insisted. So finally he convinced me to get back into the truck. Really I was just upset that I fucked up the day. We wasted money and we tried to let our problems go and enjoy ourselves but couldn’t. I felt like an even bigger ass when he was telling me he had got soo caught up playing this jackpot game, which is how he ran out of money soo fast, that gives you a lot of tickets so he could have gotten something nice for me with the tickets. AWWWW. He was like if he was playing for himself he would have just been playing arcade games.

And that was our Easter. We almost broke up on Easter. He started talking some crap about he tired of everyday same thing ……arguing. At first, I was being all hard like ok yea lets do this and then I was like no, I don’t want to end it let’s work it out. I told him that I will try to change. He said you’re just saying that. I was thinking yea I probably am. On the way home he kept asking me “so what are you gonna do when you get home?” I am like huh? I was not understanding until he asked me was I gonna let him get his stuff. I was like duh why didn’t you just ask THAT question instead of “so what are you gonna do when you get home?” That didn’t make sense. I said sure y not? I guess he thought I was gonna act a fool and not let him get his things. No. I got out of the truck and went in the house and after about 20 minutes I didn’t hear him come in the house so I go back outside and he is standing by the truck pacing. I am like whats going on he is like I am just trying to get my mind right. Sooo I let him “get his mind right” and went back in the house.

We didn’t break up that night, but I don’t know, I know he is fed up with the arguing and so am I. He is stressed out about work, 50 zillion thousand tickets he has to pay, he ain’t got no money and I am just compounding on to that.

I will try to be more understanding.

Speaking Of Men Lying….

Man why do they do that? Bryant wants me to trust him but keeps lying about small shit which frustrates the hell out of me. He says he lies to try to keep the peace because I tend to go a little overboard on things when I get upset. I say I understand that but still the truth is always better than a lie. I prefer you to tell me the truth always no matter how much you think its going to upset me. I rather to be upset over it than to be upset because my man lied to me.

This is what happened. Last night Bryant got off of work and we was chilling watching a movie upstairs in the bedroom and his cellphone rings around 10:30..I pause the movie..he answers it. I hear someone talking on the other end but can’t make out who it is, but the expression on his face tells me that he is a little agitated by the call. Usually the only person that calls around that time is the guy he works for to tell him about how the day is set up for tomorrow so at first I kinda think its his boss. The only thing that Bryant said was “No, I’m not” then he hung up. I asked him “Baby who was that?” He responds “oh that was Wes(his boss).” I ‘m nosey ..I ask “you not going to what?” He says “hunh?” I gave him my negro you heard me look and from that moment I knew he lied about who was on the phone and knew what was coming out of his mouth next was going to be a lie. Not to mention he has what I call the “lie look” the same face Rich would make when he would lie to me about something. I can only describe it as a softening of the face, a guilty look, like they are sorry for lying but still spilling the lies out their mouth anyway. If you can’t lie with a straight face don’t lie at all please.

Anyways he says something about Wes wants to know if he was going to have trouble doing some moves tomorrow or whatever. Basically mumbo jumbo..couldn’t even come up with a good lie on demand. So I ask, “Why are you lying?” He doesn’t respond. I mean he gets real quiet. So i get even lounder, “Negro why is you lying?” and then I threw the sweet we was smoking across the room. Don’t you know he had the nerve to express concern about the sweet because it was still lit. At that point I didn’t give a fuck if that lit sweet burned the entire house down. Thats just how I am when someone upsets me and I was soo sure he was lying about some bitch and that THAT would end the relationship tonight. I told him straight up “that was a female…who was it?”

He goes “Ms Peggy?” so I am asking why would you lie about her calling why didn’t you just say it was her instead of lying. He said its because last time she called I got upset which is true I got upset because everytime she calls him its like after 11 pm. I hardly get time to see him because of him being at work and I don’t like our time being interrupted and I don’t understand why she calls him soo late. My mama taught me you do not call someone’s house after a certain time ..its rude..especially if that person is in a relationship. Well anyways Ms.Peggy is like a 50 year old woman who braids his hair. I never met her. I don’t care how old she is though I am just a natural suspicious person and I am always on guard. I let my guard down one time and look you know what happened with that.

Now I am just upset that he lied. He said if I would have told him the truth I would have been upset about her calling and either way it was a no-win situation and he just wanted to continue to watch the movie with no problems. No luck of that. I am a very emotional person so If I get upset rarely can I just continue what I am doing like I am ok. If I am mad everyone is mad. Basically. I admit I did go overboard as usual told him to get out was crying and everything letting him know that it is not okay to lie to me under no circumstances. First he was acting all hard like ok I told you the next time you try to kick me out I am not coming back. When he said that I said whatever and I went in the restroom closed the door sat on the restroom floor and started crying. He came in there we talked and he tried to reason with me about why I should not make a decision when I am upset. He told me he understands that I am just scared of getting hurt again but he is not going to hurt me and he is the one to make me happy. I just got up and went in the bedroom. We ended up having sex I can’t turn it down lol..I am such a nympho. I am still a little upset about the situation but right now I am deciding to let it go. Its nothing serious.

Do I need anger management?

My aunt just told me that I need to take anger management classes and I found that too funny because no one has ever told me that before, but I think she may be right. I find when things don’t go my way sometimes I get upset and soo frustrated and it drives my blood pressure up.

 

Case and point…today RM and I was supposed to take the car to the shop because the car is not starting. RM is great at fixing ‘Blue’ (our car) however he can’t figure out what the problem is this time. Instead of going to fix the car, right now we are stuck in the house watching some guys change our carpet out on the stairs and in the two bedrooms upstairs. At first, I was upset that my landlord did not call me to tell me that they were coming. When I spoke to her earlier this week she told me they might come but she would call me by Thursday to let me know for sure so we could move the furniture out of the bedrooms. Never heard from her and the guys were standing outside waiting when Baby took Rocky out to take a dump this morning. Secondly, RM goes outside to look and see what color carpet they have and its two different colors (both very pretty but one was white and the other beige) so I called my landlord to find out what was up with that and she blah blah blah about it being on sale and yadda yadda whatever so I ended up getting loud telling her she should have asked us first if we would be ok with that instead of just assuming and me being surprised to see two different colors when I was expecting all one color. All she had to say was her house has two colors and the people in front of us whose carpet she changed out last week was okay with the 2 different colors. (Theres 4 townhouses in my building -a b c d. I think she owns the whole building but I did not know that before) but now I am like why did you assume we would be okay? She offered to hold off until she had some more money and she could buy a cheaper brand to match. The carpet she bought for us looks to be real good quality. I hung up on her.

 

Now, I feel bad like I overreacted as I always do and RM gets me soo hyped up. I feed off of him and I am the mouth. He never goes off unless of course he goes off on me. My aunt said I should apologize unless she causes problems for us. I think I should as well. I looked at what they done soo far and it looks really nice and way better than that tore down dirty carpet she had in here when we first moved here in February. She promised she would change out the carpet in July and she stuck to her word without me having to call and remind her. RM (my hype man) even thinks it looks good soo far. They have the beige on the stairs and the white in our room and my cat room (yes my cat has her own room).

 

I think I still deserved a call . I don’t like surprises and would have probably have been okay with the idea of 2 colors if she told me but it wasn’t what I was expecting. Do you guys think I overreacted and should apologize at least for hanging up in her face? or Do you think I had a right to be upset and I should leave it as is and maybe she will be more considerate next time ?

Waxed Off

Friday, I went to get my eyebrows waxed at this place near my job I sometimes frequent on my lunch break. The girl that usually does my brows I did not see so this girl whom I have seen before there although has never touched my brows lead me to the room and told me to lie down and proceeds to wax my brow.

While she was waxing my brow,I remember thinking that she was really nice. She asked me if I had kids, was I married, how old was I, etc. and I enjoyed speaking to her. She was really nice until…..she handed me a mirror.  I looked. I sat up and looked then … I stood up and looked and I nearly freaked out. What she had done to my eyebrows I could have done better myself. They were not neat, were uneven, and looked a damn mess. I nearly screamed. The lady that I believe owns the shop noticed me and had the nerve to ask did I like it. WTF?? I surprised myself on how nice I was and that I did not freak out. She say ” I fix for you” and told me to lie down. The other lady that tried to wax me the first time stayed in the room and held onto my arm..WTF?? while I guess the lady that was waxing me explained the proper way of doing. She did a good job of waxing however due to the bad wax job she had to make them thinner then I like. After all this I felt like a damn science project. The owner apologized while I payed her employee and then she had the nerve to apologize and tell me it was her first time after the fact. uuuuuuuuuuuuh!!! Just know that this place has been added to my shiit list. They lost a good customer. The owner knew that I come there often and she still let this inexperience heffa wax my brow..That fact lets me know she does not value my business.

But I take full responsibility . I knew better than to allow some lady whom has never wax me touch my face. I see why people come into the salon and request specific folk for their hair, nail, feet,etc.

Have It My Way?

I was soo fuccing pissed today. Me and RM went to do our errands (pay the rent, groceries for the week, things for the house) and afterwards we decided to stop by Burger King to grab a bite to eat before dinner. I simply ordered a whopper jr and two tacos and RM ordered a bacon cheeseburger. We get our order and immediately I start eating because I hadnt had anything to eat all day because I didnt make breakfast and I let RM eat the last of the chicken that I had made lastnight. RM wanted to run inside the dollar store and wanted a bit of his bacon cheeseburger before going inside. Soo I am digging inside the bag for the burger and coming up with just my tacos. I am like “Baby they forgot to put your burger in here” while looking at the receipt to see if they charged me for it. RM pulled back into the driveway saying “People cant just do stuff right the first time. Did they charge us for it?” The first time I looked at the receipt I didnt see it so I was like “No” so he pulled out of the driveway and was like “Just forget it then. I can wait for dinner. Can I have a bit of yours?” I’m cool with that but while he is inside the store, I am thinking about the total and it aint adding up so I look at the receipt again and then I see it (me and my blind eyes, hunh?) When RM comes out of the dollar store I tell him we gotta go back.
We drive straight pass the speaker to the window and FIRST MISTAKE: the girl at the window took at least 2 minutes to acknowledge us after we blew our horn. I mean she was straight ignoring us. She comes to the window and we tell her that they forgot to give us one of the burgers and get this….

Stupid

Why dis lady send her husband ova her to fix the dryer knowing damn well he dont know how to fix shiit? Come pick it up and get it taken care of and stop wasting my time and yours. Talking bout he coming back at 2 in order to “look” <—-? at it . Its going on 4 now what? I soo hate having my evenings interrupted. Why when you call these folks to fix things they want to look at you like you broke it. Puh-lease give me a break.

Very restless right now. Need new starter for car. Warranty does not cover it. Mo money more problems. The Amp went bad …why didnt he tell me it was a used Amp? If I had a known that I would have told him to make damn sure It has some type of warranty on it before you buy it. Men!!! lPeople be trying to fucc over you. Just bought they Amp brought it to you to install and it stop working the next day and you say we cant get our money back. Are u freaking kidding me? Of course I had to go up in there and act like a biitch. One thing that makes me mad about that man. He can tell me what to do all day long but when it comes to money he lets folks rip him off. Dont do that !!! If I was him I would not have even got another Amp from them…would have took my money elsewhere. Got a brand new one this time.

I wonder if Daddy coming over this weekend. He said he was but he shole havent called. Imma call him and c whats up though. I aint for chasing no one even though he is my daddy. Just hate when people say they going to do sumthing and dont do it. Put it in the Lords Hands. Thats all I can do is pray for him because he acting funny. Something is up.

Baby bar b q this weekend. Might invite my Aunt over. She want me to start working out with her. Say D (her ex)  tried to turn off her membership with 25 (had to go back and read that I mean 24 )hour fitness and she went and politely turned it back on Crazzy!!I guess the girl figure since she not with my Aunt no more she gone cancel her membership. Shiit the membership free anyway…D job gets them a free membership. Not like she paying for it My aunt be getting caught up in some shiit. Told me she about to hit the lottery and make us rich. Hey just make sure you dont go in hiding..give me a call. I cant see spending my money on the lottery like that. I tried but just cant get in the hang of it. My whole family be doing that shiit.

Well aint nuttin going on but the rent. I wish I could go to the Essence music festival. Need to try calling 102 and winning some tickets ya know. They jammin that Charlie Wilson..gonna make me go out and buy that cd 102. His new song is jamming too. Now thats how you make a comeback Gap Band Lemme go back to cleanin my house …been taking too many breaks …

Happy Sunday

Dude just came to my area trying to switch my electricity today to Stream from Direct Energy and I was going to do it too. I went outside to let the dog out to shiit and saw baby coming up to me with some dude tryna sell me something, but when they had a rep call me for the verification process ole girl on the phone tried to give me an attitude and was like lemme speak back to the sales dude. I was like hey he in my backyard you can call him on his cell phone i guess. Too bad I had to go out and tell dude that I am not switching if this the type of service that I will be getting. Baby didnt want me to switch anyway …oh well black women and their tudes cost that dude his sell. I was tryna help him out.

Baby went to check on the a.c. in the car..I told him dont be no mechanic shops open on Sunday and if there is one open they dont be tryna do no work on Sunday be wanting to keep ya car til monday an shit. I dont blame him though because its hella hot…Damn!!!

Gotta make some groceries today ..people say “how do you MAKE groceries?” because I’se country and I can making my list ..soap..toilet paper…etc…

Yesterday went to go get the dogs his shot way in Jersey Village…damn Houston is soo huge..got places in Houston that I aint neva seen. Baby say lets move out here..I am like we just moved what? 3 months ago. He git bored soo quick ..I mean ..

This weekend flew by didnt it. Sundays are soo laid back but I cannot really enjoy Sundays because all I can think about is tomorrow is Monday .
Daddy is acting brand new..whutever ..he a grown man but ya know I am wrong too for the holding grudge thing because he is still my daddy even though he is soo upsetting me. I will start calling him and letting him know how much I luv him . He out there partying . I dont know if he doing what I am thinking he doing but he shole havent been coming around our way so why is that ? Lets just say I hope and pray that he is taking care of hisself and put it in the Lords Hands.

Chrissy

Female friends

I really need to document this bullshiit because I got the shock of my life lastnight this nicca supposed to be going to the game room say he be back by 12. I’m on the computer around 10:30 I get a call from some biitch asking to speak to this nicca. He not here who’s calling. Danielle. Ok this one of his cousins? No. I’ll call back. Ok Whatever. I hang up.

At this point my head is screwed up. I cant think. I cant concentrate. I get off the computer. I sit on the couch. I pick up the phone and hit *69. It wouldnt go thru. *sigh* The phone rings. Hello. Hello. Who the fugg is this?? Danielle. Who the fugg is a Danielle?? A friend of R. I am at this point like I done lost my mind. You gotta be fugging kidding me, right? This has got to be a fuggin joke right. Who put you up to this shiit?

Me and this nicca have discussed having friends. I aint got none and he dont have any either. My thoughts on female friends is if you aint had them before you met me than you dont need to be having them at all. I can see if this some girl you knew back in the day Im not going to ask you to give that up. She was there before me…and to keep this shiit hidden because you knew I was going to be pissed off. Hell yea I am a jealouse azz broad. You want a friend? You betta find you a homeboy to kick it with.

Have you fugged him?

Have you kissed him?

Have you went on a date?

Biitch how old are you because you sound about 12?

I am just questioning this hoe. Sounds like they just friends but she obviously wanting more or she would not be calling my house causing trouble. This the problem with male and females being friends. Females aint nothing but trouble. Look like she done caught feelings or sumthin to be calling my house causing trouble. Do you know how many desperate horny azz females they got in this world?? And you call this a friend? Someone who is going to cause you to lose the best damn thing to ever happen to you in your life??

I”ll finish this [Censored] later….to be continued

Chrissy

On The Move

Gave my 60 day notice and February 28 2006 I am o-u-t- outta here. What is up with these apartments and their 60 day notices? So a 30 day notice is no longer suffice I guess. Oh well more time to save money I guess.

We decided we wanted a change and a bigger place and we came to the conclusion to move. We been here for going on 4 years and its cool and everything but we starting to pack mo shiit in here than a pack rat and its still stuff I wanna get like my fishy tank and still need to get another nightstand and that armoire to go with the bedroom suit we never went back and got. Think they will still have it ? You know it has been five years

I guess I will be cooking New Years I told my dad he could come over since we didnt do nothing for Christmas. He hasnt spoke to me all week. I guess when black folks dont need anything they dont call. Dats how it go. Ya know?

I bought my first slow cooker today. I have been wanting a crock pot for the longest just never bought one. You know, I had just told Baby that i wanted him to get me a crock pot this weekend and then my supervisor come give me a Walmart gift card for the highest quality for the month of Dec. YEAH!! I got a 89 last month and it pissed me the hell off cuz I hate gettin wrote up and I shot that score up to 98 this month. Thats whats up.

I dont know how I do it, but they must have only monitored the good calls this month. Thank God for that. That j is hard but when they give me attitude I just have to put on a big azz smile and sound cheerful as hell and I find thats what pisses them off cuz they want me to talk back to their azz. I dont play them games. Then at the end they wanna apologize. “Well I am sorry for being soo rude and they held a gun to my head and made me except this and I was drugged and on medication when they called me and I didnt really do this and it wasnt me and blahblah”. yeah right and whatever I cancelled your azz …now biotch get off my got damn line..you not going to help me make my commission this month so I dont wanna talk with you. CLICK! lol I wish. I try to talk to them all thru the call and butter them up to get the sale (me: so how’s the weather? *silence* ) (me: How are you doing today? *silence*) Them people dont wanna hear it because they know what you trying to do, but after I cancel them they wanna hold a damn conversation. I tried to relate with you all during the call yea yea whatever I know my name is pretty and no I dont really care if you granddaughter name is also Christina ( I get tired of hearing this ) WTF Off the wall shiit .
But yea I got the highest quality for the month of Dec so that job bought me a crock pot and some other junk. You know you cant just leave out of Walmart with one thing.

Well thats pretty much it for right now. Actually there is more that is bothering me but dont feel like gettin on my soapbox tonite. I’ll update later ..Until then

Chrissy