31
May
08

Relationships r just that way I guess

So B kinda made me mad this morning by not taking me to work.

I left early one day this week from work so I had to make it up today by going in on a Saturday (eww!) from 8-3. He did tell me last nite that he had to get to work early so he wouldn’t be able to drop me off I’d have to take the bus because he had to leave the house at 5. Yes he did say that. But….

I woke up this morning, looked at the clock it read 5:30 and he was not in the bed with me. I thought maybe he had left without saying goodbye. Never that. I found him in the music room on his beats. He was burning a cd to listen to while driving. I gave him a kiss on the lips, went into the bathroom to get ready for work. I was going to try to hurry up and get done so I could ride with him so I would not have to catch the bus to work. I was just going to go in early instead.  I had just finished my makeup and all I had left to do was to brush my hair and put on some clothes.

It was already 6 when I came out of the restroom and he was still on the computer burning his cd. Ok. I am like are you going to be able to take me to work? He looks at me with that irratated look that I hate for him to have for me when he says he doesn’t look at me that way ever. He’s a lie. Why the irratation??? I hate anyone looking at me like I am putting them out of their way. Pride. I have a lot of it and absolutely hate asking people to do anything for me. Yes, even my man.

He tells me he is about to leave now. I tell him it will only take me 15 minutes to finish doing what I have to do. I can tell he really does not want to take me and I am like…why? Damn my job is not that much out of your way and 15 minutes more for your woman  is not going to kill you. Hell you should try to avoid me (your girl) from taking the bus if you can neways. But yea he’s like ok I will but it’s gonna make me be late to my first move and plus I am going to get home later and yadda yadda yadda..just a bunch of damn excuses.

15 minutes gonna do all that?? Come on. I probably could have rushed it and been done in 10.

I was like ok never mind. He thought my little 15 minutes left of getting ready was going to put him out of his way so be it.

So he left without saying goodbye mind you. Whatever.

I texted him after thinking about it for a minute after he left :

“That is messed up that you could not wait 15 more minutes for me to get dressed” and left it at that. He texted me back some bullshit about his move being at 7 and he had to go. Ok

I don’t know maybe I could have been more understanding, but oh I thought you were “here to make my life easier” <—-his words

Well darn a simple ride to work is inconveniencing you?

I hate how I am in relationships. I easily start resenting people because I tend to put the person I am with over everything else including myself. If he needed a ride I don’t care if he made me 30 minutes late I would have taken him. Point is he is his own boss in a way so if he get to a move late no one is there supervising or tripping. Granted I do like my way but it balances out because I am a people pleaser. I like to please those I love and when he doesn’t do something for me I get like this “woe is me” “all I got is myself” “can’t depend on nobody” syndrome.

Yea. I wanted for him to know I was upset so I cut off my phone. This nigger be too busy to text me most times. But he been texting me every hour on the hour all day.

“Baby I miss you”

“Baby I love you”

“I hope your day going good’

He knows I was upset. And I ignored everyone of them texts and missed a couiple of his calls too. Yea I am maybe overreacting a little bit like I usually do. But shows him right. Hell. He should have been texting “you are right I could have waited 15 minutes and took you to work”

I get home before 4 everyday so I keep the phone by me waiting for him to call or text. Fuck him today. He go crazy blowing me up when …oh no… normally he too busy carrying couches by hisself and trying to move the freaking world  to text me how’s he doing. He has gotten better tho.

But when I worry less about him it forces me to take better care of me and thats how it should be. Gotta remember that. Its soo easy to lose myself in a man and I forget to take care of myself.

I got off work. I kept that ringer off. No phones allowed at work so we gotta keep it out of sight. Went and got my eyebrows waxed, took myself out to eat (to Wendy’s lol), and bought me some new shit. Gotta take care of self.

I can be pretty mean sometimes.

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5 Responses to “Relationships r just that way I guess”


  1. 1 Wes
    June 2, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    I don’t think that’s mean… But maybe I’m just mean too 😉

    I also find myself being the same way, I have a lot of pride and like to do things for myself. If and I say IF I need to ask someone to do something for me its b/c I really need that person to do something for me. I hate to hear “no”, especially from someone whom I love and is the only person I can trust and depend on.

    I also have to take a bus from the subway, from the supermarket.. So I can truely understand your frustrations.

  2. June 2, 2008 at 3:41 pm

    Well thanx for your feedback.

    Yes I am really independent and he “is the only person I can trust and depend on” so I think thats why it hurts even more. But he really is a good guy he just didn’t tell me until he got home that night he had to go the opposite direction from my job to go pick up a co-worker that was working with him that day . IF he had said that from the get go I would have understood but he apologized so all is well plus I don’t plan on working on Saturdays ever again.

    I feel you on taking the bus from the supermarket. I did that in my younger days now man I’d have to catch a cab if it came down to it. I cant do that n e more.

    Anyways don’t be a stranger.

  3. 3 Wes
    June 2, 2008 at 7:58 pm

    MEN!!!! Why don’t they ever put on their ‘thinking caps’??? Ughh… It’s stuff like that that just make you roll your eyes, so much time and frustration could’ve been avoided!

    I like your blog I’ll be back for sure!

  4. June 15, 2008 at 11:11 am

    hey Chriss…just stumbled on your blog, and i’m digging it. Thanks for shining your light so bright, and i’m in awe of your strength and honesty. I shall be back!

    Love you WRC (Woman Rockin’ Curves),
    Bria 🙂

  5. June 21, 2008 at 11:10 am

    Thanks for stopping by!


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♥MissChriss♥ I'm just a crazy girl in love . I love being in love. I'm a 26 years old aquarian black female who resides in Houston, Texas. No kids...haven't made up my mind on that one yet however I pray that God will bless me to be able to give birth to healthy beautiful babies one day if I so shall. I love to write, read, cook, shop, fuck, and cater to my man : ) I am a great listener, very supportive, laid back, and loyal. I value honesty above all else. I always say the worst truth is better than the best lie. I am a forgiving person although I admit I forget nothing. I am a lazy procrastinator who gets defensive and wears her heart on her sleeve. I have trust issues. You'll find me blogging about my life, my love life, my work life, and my wants and fears. My goal is to be in school by 2009. What I want to do with my life changes day to day. One moment I want to teach , the next social work, nursing. I am still trying to find me. I am a work in progress. Soo....."Don't Trip, He Ain't Finished With Me Yet!"

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