Archive for the 'Aunt' Category

11
Jul
08

Wooop Wooop


Big Brother is coming back on Sunday!! Yeaaaaa!!!! I love this show. I got my bf hooked on it too. He gets hooked on all the shows I watch in exhange I guess he has gotten me hooked on his boxing and he gets me to watch stupid shows with him like that darn stupid Adam Sandler movie we just watched: You Don’t Mess With The Zohan. Stuff like that does not hold my attention span at all and it doesn’t help that the older I get the more my attention span seems to wan but I still watch it with him.

I had really wanted my boyfriend to get on Big Brother, no kidding, because he soo competitive and good at everything that he does. They did come to The H too but I think we were arguing that day soo I was too stubborn to tell him so that he could go to the auditions that night. I tell him all the time he need to go on American Gladiator, Big Brother, Survivor, Amazing Race, hell one of those to win us some money lol. He is a natural athlete so he would excel at all of those shows. I wonder if there will be any black people on this season of Big Brother. They always have to have at least one token black. I mean can we get a few blacks this time instead of 1?

Nothing much really going on . The day I called My Aunt and made up with her she had asked about my bf and how he was doing. He just happened to be going to get his hair braided that day and I had told her that. Anyways he ended up not going at all but I had mentioned to My Aunt that he did not like the way this lady braids his hair. That sparked a conversation about how she used to do our hair when we were kids and on how freaking tight she used to braid us kids hair when were little. I told her that I mentioned to my boyfriend he would probably like it if she braided him up. I didn’t mention that to her just to have her say well tell him I’ll do his hair for him. I was just telling her about our conversation but before we got off the phone she said call me when your boyfriend wants to get his hair done. I was like ok thats nice of her. Then I told my bf about that and he got mad at me because I didn’t mention to her that he wanted her to do it now. Ummm how was I supposed to know…I didn’t know…I could have sworn he had already called Ms Peg in my face for her to do his hair that day.

The braid thing just happened to come up in conversation but I was thinking when I got off the phone with her damn she probably thought my whole intentions for calling in the first place was for her to do his hair lol. I know how she says she always feels sombody is using her for something. I feel that way sometimes too so we are the same.

Good Nite.

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08
Jul
08

Hi, I’m Christina, and I am a Snob

HI, CHRISTINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

I called my Aunt today. I don’t know. I kind of missed the old gal. I read a quote the other day about life being bland or other and people add the flavor. I believe at age 26 and after oh soo many loss of loved ones I do get it. I used to be like “oh I got my man (but where is his ass now?) and I don’t need them” or “Oh them people don’t even much care about me, they don’t even call me” “They just happy to be rid of me”. Maybe its all me. Maybe that isn’t what it is. I don’t know but I guess it isn’t right for me to just sit around expecting people to call me and to go out of their way to be apart of my life and to show me they care. I am not used to it, but I am going to have to make more of an effort too if I want to stay in contact since these people got this idea in their head that I want to be left alone. Baby steps.

But anyways I call her. She didn’t answer at first, but she called me back after about 30 minutes. We started talking and gossiping like old times. I shared with her the fact that man I feel soo alone in this world sometimes and basically she said to me I seem like I don’t like people. That hurt. It is true that I have never been much of a people person. I am quiet and to myself most of the time but I never want to give off the vibe, especially to my family, that I don’t like them. She was like yea you seem kind of snobbish and act sometimes like you don’t want to be bothered. Man I have been hearing this shit since I was a kid. I have been called a bitch and stuck-up all throughout my childhood. However to me it is just a presumption some people make before they get to know me. I don’t think I am better than anyone. I just come across that way to some people.

Wait a minute. I did a yahoo search on the word snob and came up with this:

How To Prevent Acting Snobbish

Sometimes people act snobbish because they really are snobbish, while others just seem to come across as a snob without intending too. Whether you really are snobbish at heart or not, follow these steps to prevent yourself from acting snobbish.

Ok so lemme read on and see if I am really a snob or if I just come across that way??? I mean I wanna know now.

Step1

  • Understand that most people view a snob as someone who thinks that they are better than most other people are. Sometimes this reflects the person’s background, such as how their parents raised them or their financial status. On the other hand, a snob might think they are smarter intellectually than others are.

Now, I definitely don’t think I am better than anyone. Honestly. I am pretty great but I know there are people somewhere in this world ( I mean its quite funny I haven’t come across them tho..just kidding) that look better than me and are way better off than I am . However I admit my attitude does say differently sometimes. I do carry myself in a way that could be considered having my nose in the air but thats just my swagger. Sorry you don’t like it but It’s all an act. Its hard for me to just relax and be myself around people unless I really really know you and am comfortable around you. Soooo wow I am really getting to know myself right now and trying to be my own psychiatrist. LOL, but I guess my psychiatrist would say that the way I carry myself is just me hiding behind my own insecurities and where some people you see carry themselves with confidence mine just comes across as being arrogant instead of confident all because I don’t smile with it. I think thats it. Its all because 1. I’m quiet. 2. I am too much off to myself. 3. I have a hard time smiling. 4. I am not friendly. And if I carried myself the same way I do now and talked more to people, wasn’t soo much to myself, and smile more and befriended them my snobbishness would then be viewed as a confidenct butterfly. To sum this all up I should smile more I guess and adjust my attitude.

I also think this is really also just something else that I inherited from my father’s side(I get all my bad traits from him). I have heard comments from my mom’s side of the family that his family are a little stuck up. Also when I look at my niece who is my brother’s child I see parts of myself in her. She is 11 and her mother has said people see her sometimes as thinking she is all that when she really is a sweetie pie. I do see it tho. Its just the way she carries herself. She walks tall with her head held high but like me she doesn’t have a smiley disposition so she always looks bored. When I take her out I am always looking at her to make sure she is entertained and if she is having fun it doesn’t really show on her face. So I always ask “D you ok?” She tells me “I am fine. I am having fun.” I try to smile more but It is soo hard. I have to always have my mind on smiling for me to just look like that. And I am sorry but life is moving too fast for me to just always be self consciously thinking about smiling. Too much work. I smile and then a few seconds later I am right back to my regular ole mean mugging bored as hell look.

Step2

  • Remember that you should accept other people for who they are. The world would be a very boring place if everyone was the same. People are different and that’s what makes them who they are.

I do accept people for who they are thats why I don’t understand why people don’t just accept me for who I am …NEXT!

Step3

  • Respect everyone you meet. This doesn’t mean that you have to be their best friend, but say “hello,” smile and be friendly. Show a genuine interest in other people and show concern for issues that they may be dealing with. Have concern for people’s feelings.

I could use a little work on this but if anyone goes out of their way to talk to me I do smile and greet them with a warm hello. I do show concern for peoples issues. I am sometimes blunt and direct so I could do a little better about having concern for their feelings but thats just me.

Step4

  • Look at yourself. Decide what makes you come off as a snob. Maybe you are so busy and thinking about your life, you don’t smile at people. This would make you look like a snob. On the other hand, maybe you grew up as a very popular person, and began to think subconsciously you were better than some people were.

The highlighted part is definitely me and my bf has told me that I look soo serious sometimes kinda like I wanna kill someone. I am such a serious person and I am an Aquarius remember so we smart, always thinking and creating new ideas so I don’t really have time to think about a smile and guess thats what it is all boiling down too. A smile. My Aunt even said I should smile more. Damn my father and his bad traits giving me his unsmiling grouchy face look.

Step5

  • Be outgoing when you are around other people. Be talkative and initiate conversations with people. Sometimes being shy and quiet can make people mistakenly think that you are actually being snobbish.

And this will never be me. I have come out of my shell a lot since school days but I have never been the talkative type. I am me. Its funny how this article says to accept people for who they are but I have to change me.

But to sum it all up yes I will try to smile more been trying to do this for years tho. To my aunt No I am not a snobb . I may have snobbish ways but if you take to time to get to know me and look past the exterior you may like what you see.

-The Farthest I Can Please You Is To Just Be Me. I Stay True And Say How I Feel .. And Thats Really Too Bad If You Don’t Like My Swag..

06
Jul
08

Lonely


I am an Aquarius so I am always thinking thinking thinking which tends to cause problems for me because I get really depressed when I think and am faced with MY REALITY. I hate feeling sorry for myself. Like woe is me…nobody loves me…but after feeling that way and having a good cry about it I always somehow feel better.

I usually avoid this by trying to not think about the fact that I am lonely but when I think about it and I go over all that I have went thru and what I am left with I get depressed. I try to be optimistic about the situation like “oh God is blessing me to have a steady job and survive and be able to pay bills” but life is about more than just that isnt it.

When I overthink things too it causes problems for me and my bf because I push him away. I become afraid of someone else in this world leaving me yet again that I try to push him away before he leaves. I just don’t think that I could suffer thru it anymore. He always tries to convince me of how much he really loves me and he shoudn’t have to do that. One day I am going to push him away and he will be gone forever. Its happened almost twice already that I ran him off but he came back. My ex did this to me so I should know how it feels to be pushed away. I put up with it for close to 7 years and now I am treating my bf like this when he is a good person and doesn’t deserve it. He deserves to be happy which is why he shouldn’t be with me.

I do depend on my bf too much for my own happiness and I am afraid of that. He brings me soo much happiness and makes me forget all about my loneliness that if we break up I wouldn’t die but I would want to. I took a big lost when my father died in Sept and when me and my aunt fell out yet again because those two where the only ones that I felt who cared about me because they called and checked up on me a lot.

Lately I have been thinking, and yes my crazy self did tell my boyfriend this If he decided to one day kill me no one would miss me? No on in my family calls to check on me. I don’t have any friends. Lord my body could lay up in this house for at least a year and no one would even know it.

I mean what is it about me. God doesn’t give you too much to handle they say and I am able to handle it but why should I have to. I dealt with my mothers death, my brother’s death, me and my ex breaking up, my fathers death, me and my aunt no longer talking and having no friends.

When I went to my cousin’s wedding, I was embraced and I felt like I was apart of the family. People I haven’t seen in years was hugging me and looking at me strangely making it seem like I am the one being the outsider. They only know what they are told and that isn’t the case. They make it seem like I am the one that doesn’t want to come around. The only way I feel they should be able to say that is if they were actually making an effort too and I was not responding to their effort. No one calls me and no one invites me over on holidays and I think that is really shitty to be honest because they know that I don’t have any family so the nice thing to do would be to invite me at least. Thats what a family is supposed to do. Instead they leave me out and just go on about their business acting like “oh Chris just want to be by herself and she doesn’t want to come around us or whatever so forget about her.” At least thats what it seems like how they are acting.

I have always been kind of quiet and to myself so its hard for me to take the initiative but why is it soo hard for them to embrace me. On Independence day I pointed all this out to my bf he was like why don’t you call them. Why should I have to? He mentioned before that they were the big group so some shit about me having to go to the group instead of them coming to me. Umm okay so If I dont go to the group as you say they just leave me out. Why should I even care? I used to not care but like I said things have been difficult for me since I lost my father.

I been taking a long look at myself like what is about me that makes people not want to embrace me. As a child I was spoiled and I got all the attention. Everyone loved me. I had more friends in elementary school than I ever did. My house was the place to be. All that changed around the age of 11. I know I am not the friendly type but alot of people are not friendly and have alot of friends. Why can’t people accept me. I am not a bad person.

I love writing in this blog it’s soo therapeutic. I want to write more often but I am lazy. But yea even with this blog I have what 2 readers. I may have more but they don’t comment. I am thinking about just making it my own private blog since no one reads it anyway.

Maybe I should start a family of my own. I sound like one of them kids off of talk shows wanting to have a baby so that I could have someone to love me but no I want to have a baby to replace the family that I don’t have. I told the boyfriend I wish I could have 10 kids. If I had the money I would adopt all of the unloved kids in the world that have lost their family or have been thrown away and made to feel unwanted.

For those of you that have a loving family be happy about that. If you have an overprotective mother relish that. Don’t take that for granted please. You never know what you have until its gone.

Love Is…

Love is considered the most basic emotion that human awareness can feel; therefore, it is the closest to the source of life.”

–Deepak Chopra in Ageless Body, Timeless Mind

23
Feb
08

Update *My Aunt*

I know i needs to be doing some updating……

My Aunt Well lets start off with my aunt, the only member of my family that I was really associating with and keeping in contact with besides my father. The last time I wrote we wasn’t speaking remember because of some bullshit. I wrote about that in my who cut the cheese post? LOL Well we actually ended up making up. I forget who called who first but some where around I think it was fourth of July she invited me over to her house to chill with her and her girlfriend because she had cooked and she wanted to meet BJ.

When I spoke to her after us being on the outs for awhile she was surprised to learn that not only had I not gotten back together with Rich, but now had moved on to BJ and had moved him in all up in my house and thangs. She was really expecting me to get back together with my ex I guess because we was together for 7 years and she knew how much I love his azz.

She met BJ. She liked him. At first when we walked into her house she was just like nice to meet you and everything. I couldn’t really tell what she was thinking about him until me and BJ was seated and my aunt’s girlfriend came out from the back room and saw my boyfriend. My aunt’s gf was basically acting a damn fool lol…like oh my God , he sooo handsome, damn where you find him at, ya’ll gonna have some pretty kids etc LOl. It was funny and embarrassing at the same time. After my Aunt’s girlfriend expressed what she thought about my man thats when my aunt let me know she approved. She was like yea Christina got a looker I see. I wouldn’t mind babysitting ya’ll kids cuz you know I don’t do the ugly ones lol. (FYI my aunt is extrememly hard to please in the looks department..she is high yella with light eyes and she is going on 50 but think she is the greatest thing created still since sliced bread. She talks bad about everybody..so for her to compliment my man thats something. Hey not that I cared if she approved or not because she thought my ex was ugly and I was still with him) The night ended ended well and me and my aunt was back talking and I was happy until….

Not too long after that day, my aunt invites me to go to lunch with her and a friend of hers. I was like cool. I was happy to spend time with her and since me and my ex had broken up, me and my aunt had gotten closer so I didn’t want to lose that connection just because I was in a new relationship. Ya know. So on this day, my aunt came and picked me and BJ up and we went to this nice restaurant that me and my aunt had been to before. I was in a really great mood. I paid for her meal and everything that day. After we left the restaurant her and her friend decided they wanted to go to the gameroom. The gameroom is like a casino. I didn’t even know that they even had casino’s in Houston until I started chilling with my aunt. Totally illegal!!! Ha ha such a trip how I found out, one day my aunt had took me to this place that said 99 cent store on it. The tint on the windows was really dark but I didn’t think nothing of it she didn’t tell me what she was getting from there but I always love to shop in the 1.00 store so hey I jumped out to go in, but when I walked inside, they had slot machines everywhere. It was a trip, but every since that day I now know how to spot them. Anytime I see a store with no name and has really dark tinted windows on it I know that its a casino. Crazy..But anyways my aunt and her friend was on one side playing slots and me and BJ was on the other side playing and losing all our money.

Anyways I was through playing . I had lost all that I wasn’t planning on losing but BJ wanted to continue to play. He had left his money at home so I was gonna spot him a 20 until we went back, and I am digging around in my purse and coming up empty. I remember telling BJ that I didn’t know where my money was. I knew I should have had more money, but he was like thats ok and my aunt was getting ready to leave so I just forgot about it. As we were heading out the door, my aunt leading the way, I saw her bend down next to the car and pick up something from the ground. Then I saw her chasing something that had flew a few feet away. I didn’t think nothing of it. Then I saw something green, a piece of paper next to the car, so I scooped down to pick it up and it was the receipt from the restaurant. When I looked over to my aunt she had (yep you guessed it) my money in her hand. The zipper on my purse was broken but I was still carrying it and the receipt from the restaurant and my money had ended up falling out of my purse. Thats why when we were in the gameroom I was telling BJ I am sure i had more money.

My aunt was all tripping because she “found” some money and I am steady telling her thats my money. I told her this my receipt it dropped out of my purse and as I am telling her this she is stuffing the money in her pocket and is like what that mean? That don’t mean anything. Gangsta. Yep, my family is gangsta. I was soo fucking mad I wanted to cry. I just got in the car and nobody wasn’t saying anything. So after awhile I was like can i have my money? and she is like how you know this is yours? How much is it? If its yours you ought to be able to tell me how much it is? How I know whats yours and whats mine now?

And that made no since because she asking me exactly how much it is and then telling me she don’t know how much of it is hers and how much of it is mine now that she has it all mixed in together in her pocket. So it makes no difference how much it really is does it ? She was still planning on keeping it. A complete trip. So she dropped us off at our house and I just got out the car without saying shit to her and BJ was like nice to meet you to her friend and nice seeing you again to my aunt. I was kinda mad at that like nigga she just stole my money don’t fucking talk to her azz. I heard her asking her friend if she was wrong or not and her friend was like trying to stay out of it. Hells yea you wrong. But that was the last time I let her burn me.. When I went in the house I just cried and BJ held me. It wasn’t even about the money its just how she handled it. She is too gutter and I am not like that. I can’t be around people like that. It hurt because I really love my aunt and I feel like she did me dirty but oh well that is life.

I didn’t talk to her again until in September when I found out my father was very sick in the hospital. And that will be my next post.




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Who I Is?

♥MissChriss♥ I'm just a crazy girl in love . I love being in love. I'm a 26 years old aquarian black female who resides in Houston, Texas. No kids...haven't made up my mind on that one yet however I pray that God will bless me to be able to give birth to healthy beautiful babies one day if I so shall. I love to write, read, cook, shop, fuck, and cater to my man : ) I am a great listener, very supportive, laid back, and loyal. I value honesty above all else. I always say the worst truth is better than the best lie. I am a forgiving person although I admit I forget nothing. I am a lazy procrastinator who gets defensive and wears her heart on her sleeve. I have trust issues. You'll find me blogging about my life, my love life, my work life, and my wants and fears. My goal is to be in school by 2009. What I want to do with my life changes day to day. One moment I want to teach , the next social work, nursing. I am still trying to find me. I am a work in progress. Soo....."Don't Trip, He Ain't Finished With Me Yet!"

Just Me

........AND THE BEST PART OF ALL IS HAVING A MAN THAT KNOWS IT AND LOVES YOU BACK FLAWS AND ALL.

Just Call Me B's Girl And I Wears That Hat Well

I Love Him

I Support Him

And BestFriend Him

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Image Hosted by ImageShack.usBorn in Houston in the fall of 1981, Beyonce Giselle Knowles started performing at age seven. From dance classes to singing in the church choir, Beyonce was a natural. She and cousin Kelly Rowland met Latavia Roberson during this time, and the trio formed a group with Letoya Luckett. Mathew Knowles, Beyonce's father and Rowland's legal guardian, signed on to be the girls' manager. This situation would ultimately lead to the formation of one of the most popular female R&B groups of all time -- Destiny's Child. Destiny's Child made its debut 1990 and within ten years, the vocal act had experienced personal and political highs and lows that fueled the group's desire to make it big. Destiny's Child sold 33 million albums worldwide by 2002 and earned a slew of Grammys and additional music awards. "Jumpin' Jumpin'," "Bills, Bills, Bills," "Say My Name," and "Survivor" were smash hits, and the group appeared unstoppable. In 2001, Beyoncé, Rowland, and Michelle Williams allowed themselves a break from the singing group and tried their hands at individual solo careers. Before landing several movie roles, Beyoncé became the first African-American female artist and second woman ever to win the annual ASCAP Pop Songwriter of the Year Award. An appearance in the MTV drama Carmen: A Hip Hopera quickly followed, but it was her role as Foxxy Cleopatra in Austin Powers in Goldmember in 2002 that eventually moved Beyoncé from the stage to the screen. Her first single, "Work It Out," coincided with the release of the Mike Myers comedy and cemented her celebrity status. A guest spot on Jay-Z's "'03 Bonnie & Clyde" was equally popular when it appeared in October. In 2003, she rejoined Jay-Z for her proper debut single, the funkadelic "Crazy in Love," as the press and fans christened her a bona fide star. Beyoncé's debut album, Dangerously in Love, which appeared in June 2003, featured collaborations with Sean Paul, Missy Elliott, and OutKast's Big Boi. The multi-platinum album spawned a total of four Top Ten singles. Nearly two years after another Destiny's Child album (Destiny Fulfilled), Beyoncé released her second album, B'day. ~ MacKenzie Wilson, All Music Guide... website statistics