1. I am 26, born 2 days after Valentines Day, so that would make me an Aquarius.
2. Everyone I have every really ever loved I’ve lost.
- My mother in ’93 from heart/lung complications. I was 11 at the time.
- My brother in ’03 from a blood clot that traveled to his lungs. This was 10 years after my mothers death and his funeral was a day before my 21st birthday. He was only 28 at the time of his death and my only sibling.
- My first love in 06 after over 6 years being in a relationship. I met him when I was 18 and we moved 6 months later. He was 12 years older than me and that relationship was very emotionally draining for me as well as some physical abuse but mostly emotional.
- My father in 07 (just last year) from aggressive cancer. Less than two weeks after he found out he had cancer he was gone. I was by his side when he took his last breath.
3. Because of all the lost I have experienced I think now I have abandonment issues.
4. I don’t talk to anyone from my family. No one goes out of their way to contact me or to see how I am doing so I say fcuk ’em. I am basically in this world by myself.
6. For this reason, I fear being alone. I know how alone I am in this world but I don’t think it will really really hit me unless me and my bf broke up.
7. I have no close girlfriends. I am a loner. Secretly sometimes I do wish that I did have a couple of close girlfriends but I haven’t met any that have lived up to what I feel a true friend should be. *Sighs* Its a lost cause.
8. Looking at numbers 2-7 on this makes me think darn my life is truly pathetic and what am I living it for.
9. I have considered killing myself a lot but am too much of a wimp to do it.
10. I worry alot that I won’t ever be able to have kids. I see a lot of people I grew up with that have babies and I am like hummm I am surprised that I haven’t popped one out by now or at least got pregnant.
11. I am a very emotional person. You could say “Booo” to me and I’d cry haha but I am good at hiding my emotions from people I don’t know.
12. The reason I haven’t enrolled in college is because I am lazy
13. And I have no earthly idea what I would even go to school to become?