I WON ! I WON! I WON!

I am soo happy that I won.

It could not have come at a better time I tell you, because I was telling the bf yestereday that I was thinking of stopping with the sweepstakes. Yes I know I just started but they have Instant Win Games as well on most of the contest and people were just winning up a storm posting about winning Wii systems, 1000 grand, computers, shopping sprees. All of that was making me a little bit mad. I am like I am entering everyday what am I doing wrong. Each win gives me a little motivation to win more. Although I have to tell you I am about tired of them damn Flat Earth Veggie Potato Chips I keep winning from Subway. They seem to have purchased too many of them chips and is making everyone a winner to claim those lol.

I did win a movie Ticket from Subway too but my printer is not hooked up. I have had this doggone printer for close to a year and have not hooked it up yet. Baby!! You better hook it up so that I can print out my free movie tickets . Got Nammit!!!

I was just telling my bf yestereday that I am thinking of giving up on sweepstakes because I enter a whole lot of different ones and guess what happened today??? Guess, Guess, I say Guess!!!

Yes you guessed right! I won my biggest win yet. A 100 dollar Visa Gift card from Coke. I love you Coke! You Rock. Thats My favorite drink right now…Coke one..TRY IT!! Its zero calories and zero caffeine and tastes like the real thing. Hey that rhymes. I have been coming out with a lot of different commercial slogans lately. I have maybe 10 written down but I can’t share them or else you may steal them lol. The bf said maybe I should go into advertising. Humm not a bad idea. I just hate meeting anyones quota. Hell I do that now.

Yes off I go. I am trying to win a trip. I deserve it and yes you do tooo!! If you want to keep track of my wins click HERE.

On Ice

Today me and the bf went out and had a chance to go to the movies. He wanted to see Hancock but we didn’t so we might go see that next time. He decided he wanted to go see the movie Wanted. Two of my most favorites actors was up in there, Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie. God Angelina is soo freaking hot. I would do her.I really would lol. It is just something about her. She is sexxy as hell.

But anyways, he wanted to see Wanted because we could tell by the amount of showings it was about to leave the theaters soon. Good Movie! I really enjoyed it even tho we were about 20 minutes late getting to the movies and I hate watching movies when its already started. I don’t like missing nothing. It makes me not want to watch it but it was cool. When we got there I was like is this the movie? The part we came in at was kinda like a comedy and I didn’t see no Angelina or Morgan. Baby was like be patient we just got here. I kept checking the ticket to make sure that we went into the right room lol and then I saw Angelina. Funny. I am soo impatient and was ready to walk out of there. He was like you do not give movies a chance. It’s going to start off boring. I was like it wasn’t boring it just wasn’t starting how I expected but did have a whole lot of action. It did have a few funny points in the beginning because of the other main character. He was kind of a goofball  at first.

Baby got home from work at 6 so we had plenty of time to get ready for the 8:10 showing but we was messing around downloading music. I have gotten into sweepstaking and I had won 5 free movie downloads from Rhapsody. I download music free anyways but they the were free also so I decided to just give it to him. I thought it would be fun for us to find songs together to download but that man don’t know the name of nothing and who sings what lol. So it took us almost 2 hours to download 3 songs. We still didn’t finish finding all 5 to download so I was like when you in the truck riding right down the names and titles of what you like so I can find it for you. I discovered also I love heavy metal. My baby likes rock and alternative music and metal and they have quite a few songs that I was jamming to. I also like the Jonas Brothers. I need to get their cd for real.

But anyways yea sweeping is my new hobby I am trying to win some money or a trip. I deserve it. Doesn’t everybody? Hey I have only being sweeping for 2 days now and I already won some Subway chips and some music downloads . I know its not much but it gives me hope. It gets kinda tiresome entering your name into sweepstakes forms everyday over and over but if I believe then I will win. I’m a winner baby!! My hobbies change ever soo often so hopefully I won’t get bored with it.

I am still sticking with the blogging thing because its my release. I have accepted the fact that I am not going to have a zillion commentors like other bloggers and thats ok. I do this for myself so I am going to keep at it. I thought it would be nice to have a few commenters every now and then to get their point of view but if I need another point of view I know how to pick up the phone and call Crystal crazy ass. I have also accepted that she is not going to be “the friend” that I would like for her to be but she is good for giving advice and for checking my ass when I am tripping. She supposed to be marrying her long time love in September. Hopefully they go thru with it this time. Ten years and soo many kids later you might as well tie that knot tight. He is not going nowhere lol.

Maybe one day I shall be taking that trip down the isle but I am not in no kinda rush because when I gets married its gonna be to death and let some little trifling hoe try to tear us apart I will cut that thang off. I know its good but hell you not going to be getting any of mine but shiit thats punishing myself too lmao.  I don’t know I  just don’t think people know how to be faithful these days so whats the point in marriage and I am not the type that can easily get over someone screwing over me. I have tried. Its hard for a bitch like me to let shit go. Oh well.

Well I am out. My baby is sleep and I am about to go upstairs and cuddle up next to him….

Getting back to normal

Yea things are pretty much getting back to normal now.

Me and my little bull have kinda stopped with all of the arguing .

We have been talking a lot these last few days. God I love him soo much. He sat me down and was like what can I do make things better and to make you happy with the way things are going because I love you and I want to be with you. And I told him I just want things back to how they used to be and I am mad that I fucked up everything. Yes, I fucked up. I prayed to God for him to send me someone like this and I was messing it up royally but I am done with doing that.

When I first met B I was using words to describe him like “knight in shining armour” and “my prince”. I know I used to get on my co-worker nerve like this bitch ain’t nothing perfect but it was. Man, it really was. Too good too be true . I used to try to find things to go wrong I think just because it was soo unreal. I could not believe they made guys like him in real life. I thought it was some type of fantasy novel romance bs. Most women never find a man like B. It was like he was put on this Earth to please me and satisfy me and that made me want to make him the happiest man ever. He made me feel like a woman and treated me like every man should treat their woman. He used to just admire me and put me on a pedestal and I wasn’t used to that. Lately I got to feeling like I was knocked down a bit. I was really mad at myself for messing it all up.

I know I jumped into this relationship too soon after breaking up with my ex and I pushed B away a lot because I was scared of getting hurt but he still remained patient and understanding. He was still nice and treated me well and with any other man their patience would have been ran out so hey his is just checking out after 1 and 1/2 years thats pretty damn amazing I would say.

He told me that things are going to go back to how they were and they are. He is back being affectionate, attentive, and everything. I am loving it!

I don’t know why I always find myself wanting to pick arguments over the small things. Well yes I do I want my way but I can’t be doing that because I see now how bad things can really get. B is really just a go with the flow kinda guy. He always told me that he doesn’t like to argue. A perfect day for him is just us cuddling up on the couch watching movies, eating, and being affectionate. We never argued as much as we have these last of couple of weeks…but I am committed to stopping the madness!!!

Just got to stop being soo bossy I guess.

I am just venting about my love

I love my Bf but gosh darn we have been arguing a lot lately . I think we are just too darn alike and we’re bumping heads because of it. Aquarius and Taurus are two of the most stubborn people you could ever meet and both signs like to have their way. Its soo funny when we argue and try to talk about one another because the things we point out in each other that we don’t like are the same behaviors that we both exhibit lol. I guess it is really true that things we don’t like in other people are our own defects. I always tell him he needs to look in the mirror. For instance he will tell me “You don’t listen. You always cut me off in the middle of my sentences. You don’t allow me to speak.” Which is true but he does it to. Sometimes when we are arguing about me cutting him off, he will go and cut me off while I am talking. What the hell? I am like why is it okay for you to do that. I do it more I admit. Its just he talks sooo much and its hard for me to not get in there and respond to some of the things that he says. I am impatient but he doesn’t give me time to respond. If I just let him go on and on and on and on and on I will forget about half the things he said at the start of the conversation. I feel like if I don’t interject that I’ll never get a change to respond to it. Now how do you get around that?

And either he has a bad memory or I have a bad memory. My memory is pretty darn good so of course its him. It annoys the hell out of me when he will try and tell me things that I said that I know I did not say or even when I tell him I said such and such he will tell me I didn’t say it. Smart mouth will say something like “Oh man I must have been sleep”. I can strangle him when he does this I swear. This is by far the worst pet peeve of mine that he does because its like he might as well say I am delusional. And I can never bring up the past with him and call him out on something he said because he never remembers saying it. He will say “I said that? Oh man. I am not saying I didn’t but I don’t remember it.” Well thats the end of the conversation. How can we discuss something that you don’t remember saying.

He re-writes history in his mind. He will say something and when I try to bring it back up later in the conversation when not even 2 minutes has gone by to try and make a point he’ll switch what he said around to have it mean something different than what he actually did say. So I have to go back back back back to the beginning of that conversation and basically re-discuss it until he realizes that he did in fact say what I said he did in the fist place. By then I am too exhausted to go back to where we left off in the conversation. By then, I have wasted all my time and efforts on something he forgot he said. Why must we got thru this all of the time? lol We are considering tape recording ALL OF OUR CONVERSATIONS. It is just that serious!

I wonder if marijauna does really cause short term memory loss?

He is defensive and doesn’t like to be told anything. I have this character flaw as well tho. I told you we are the same person almost. Before I tell an example, I hate to wash dishes. Eww! Hate it with a passion so we try to wash them after we use them but usually one of us will get lazy and put a dish there which causes the other person to get lazy and add their dish to that one and so and so on until we looking at a sink full of dishes. I had just cleaned the whole house and we was about to go upstairs but before he did he went and put a dish in the sink. OMG!! I heard the little “ting”. You know the sound of dishes hitting the sink. So I just said “Babe can you wash that please.” He says “You didn’t even give me a chance i was going to get it.” I swore when I came up in there he was walking away from the sink but still I probably should have just said “Ok” but instead I say ” You know if I had not said anything you would not have washed it.” He admitted that he wasn’t gonna wash it. Ok.

We argued about juice the other day. Juice? He bought two different kinds of Capri Suns and I guess he was keeping track of how many of one kind I drunk more than the other so he ask me something about not drinking all of one kind. He could not understand how I upset I got at that. I am like it’s petty thats why. I have brought soo many things up into this house that I have only gotten one bite out of and you darn near ate the whole thing but I never make a big deal out of it. I never trip over food and I am usually the one that buys the groceries???? I hardly ever ask him to put in on it. I don’t care about that. So ok I drunk a couple of more fruit punches than pink lemonades why is that a big deal? I tried to make him see it my way by saying “what if I didn’t like pink lemonade? And You didn’t tell me the limit I could have on each one if you did I would not be upset.” Plus, I feel if he loves me he shouldn’t care if I drunk the whole damn box, in my eyes. You or I can go take 3 dollars and go buy another one. It’s not that serious.

When I made groceries the other day we bought too more boxes from H-E-B who had it on sale for a dollar. Good price on that by the way! You know I had to get him because he damn near drunk one box by himself. Last night I go to get one and the box was empty so I made a comment about it. He’s like “yea WE drunk those pretty fast.” WE?? Yea umm one of us more than the other. I was like but I am not tripping over it and he was like yea and I won’t no more either and gave me a kiss. Thats all I was trying to get him to see.

His driving causes more arguments. It is another sensitive topic. He thinks he is the best driver in the world but has gotten more traffic tickets in the last 6 months than most people have gotten in their life. Which is one of the reasons why we are strapped for cash right now. When I am in the car it is hard for me not to comment but when I do that causes the biggest argument ever. I am cautious soo sorry if I see you about to run over somebody I am going to point it out.

The stuff we argue about is mostly petty tho. I think we need to get out more but money has been tight so we just stuck in the house and I guess taking it out on each other. I say he changed he was not like this before and he says I changed too and I say I changed because you changed.

Yesterday, I felt soo unhappy. There was nothing he could do to bring me out of it. I was just soo mentally drained and exhausted from the last few days of arguing that I just wanted to call it quits for real. He kept saying things like we can work on it, it’s gonna get better, but it’s like my mind would not let me receive what he was saying until he had all his shit packed and was about to leave. Thats when I snapped and was like damn this is real and am I really ready to give up on us. I know I am wrong for that but I was being stubborn and I knew deep down I didn’t really want to end it. I was just frustrated. I should have spoke up before I let it get to that point but I didn’t. What can I say?

I love my snookums. Things between us was soo beautiful 1 and 1/2 years ago ….He say we can get it back like that. I am going to work on me because I know there are some things I can change.

I wish you could buy patience sometimes.

Wooop Wooop

Big Brother is coming back on Sunday!! Yeaaaaa!!!! I love this show. I got my bf hooked on it too. He gets hooked on all the shows I watch in exhange I guess he has gotten me hooked on his boxing and he gets me to watch stupid shows with him like that darn stupid Adam Sandler movie we just watched: You Don’t Mess With The Zohan. Stuff like that does not hold my attention span at all and it doesn’t help that the older I get the more my attention span seems to wan but I still watch it with him.

I had really wanted my boyfriend to get on Big Brother, no kidding, because he soo competitive and good at everything that he does. They did come to The H too but I think we were arguing that day soo I was too stubborn to tell him so that he could go to the auditions that night. I tell him all the time he need to go on American Gladiator, Big Brother, Survivor, Amazing Race, hell one of those to win us some money lol. He is a natural athlete so he would excel at all of those shows. I wonder if there will be any black people on this season of Big Brother. They always have to have at least one token black. I mean can we get a few blacks this time instead of 1?

Nothing much really going on . The day I called My Aunt and made up with her she had asked about my bf and how he was doing. He just happened to be going to get his hair braided that day and I had told her that. Anyways he ended up not going at all but I had mentioned to My Aunt that he did not like the way this lady braids his hair. That sparked a conversation about how she used to do our hair when we were kids and on how freaking tight she used to braid us kids hair when were little. I told her that I mentioned to my boyfriend he would probably like it if she braided him up. I didn’t mention that to her just to have her say well tell him I’ll do his hair for him. I was just telling her about our conversation but before we got off the phone she said call me when your boyfriend wants to get his hair done. I was like ok thats nice of her. Then I told my bf about that and he got mad at me because I didn’t mention to her that he wanted her to do it now. Ummm how was I supposed to know…I didn’t know…I could have sworn he had already called Ms Peg in my face for her to do his hair that day.

The braid thing just happened to come up in conversation but I was thinking when I got off the phone with her damn she probably thought my whole intentions for calling in the first place was for her to do his hair lol. I know how she says she always feels sombody is using her for something. I feel that way sometimes too so we are the same.

Good Nite.

Hi, I’m Christina, and I am a Snob

HI, CHRISTINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

I called my Aunt today. I don’t know. I kind of missed the old gal. I read a quote the other day about life being bland or other and people add the flavor. I believe at age 26 and after oh soo many loss of loved ones I do get it. I used to be like “oh I got my man (but where is his ass now?) and I don’t need them” or “Oh them people don’t even much care about me, they don’t even call me” “They just happy to be rid of me”. Maybe its all me. Maybe that isn’t what it is. I don’t know but I guess it isn’t right for me to just sit around expecting people to call me and to go out of their way to be apart of my life and to show me they care. I am not used to it, but I am going to have to make more of an effort too if I want to stay in contact since these people got this idea in their head that I want to be left alone. Baby steps.

But anyways I call her. She didn’t answer at first, but she called me back after about 30 minutes. We started talking and gossiping like old times. I shared with her the fact that man I feel soo alone in this world sometimes and basically she said to me I seem like I don’t like people. That hurt. It is true that I have never been much of a people person. I am quiet and to myself most of the time but I never want to give off the vibe, especially to my family, that I don’t like them. She was like yea you seem kind of snobbish and act sometimes like you don’t want to be bothered. Man I have been hearing this shit since I was a kid. I have been called a bitch and stuck-up all throughout my childhood. However to me it is just a presumption some people make before they get to know me. I don’t think I am better than anyone. I just come across that way to some people.

Wait a minute. I did a yahoo search on the word snob and came up with this:

How To Prevent Acting Snobbish

Sometimes people act snobbish because they really are snobbish, while others just seem to come across as a snob without intending too. Whether you really are snobbish at heart or not, follow these steps to prevent yourself from acting snobbish.

Ok so lemme read on and see if I am really a snob or if I just come across that way??? I mean I wanna know now.

Step1

• Understand that most people view a snob as someone who thinks that they are better than most other people are. Sometimes this reflects the person’s background, such as how their parents raised them or their financial status. On the other hand, a snob might think they are smarter intellectually than others are.

Now, I definitely don’t think I am better than anyone. Honestly. I am pretty great but I know there are people somewhere in this world ( I mean its quite funny I haven’t come across them tho..just kidding) that look better than me and are way better off than I am . However I admit my attitude does say differently sometimes. I do carry myself in a way that could be considered having my nose in the air but thats just my swagger. Sorry you don’t like it but It’s all an act. Its hard for me to just relax and be myself around people unless I really really know you and am comfortable around you. Soooo wow I am really getting to know myself right now and trying to be my own psychiatrist. LOL, but I guess my psychiatrist would say that the way I carry myself is just me hiding behind my own insecurities and where some people you see carry themselves with confidence mine just comes across as being arrogant instead of confident all because I don’t smile with it. I think thats it. Its all because 1. I’m quiet. 2. I am too much off to myself. 3. I have a hard time smiling. 4. I am not friendly. And if I carried myself the same way I do now and talked more to people, wasn’t soo much to myself, and smile more and befriended them my snobbishness would then be viewed as a confidenct butterfly. To sum this all up I should smile more I guess and adjust my attitude.

I also think this is really also just something else that I inherited from my father’s side(I get all my bad traits from him). I have heard comments from my mom’s side of the family that his family are a little stuck up. Also when I look at my niece who is my brother’s child I see parts of myself in her. She is 11 and her mother has said people see her sometimes as thinking she is all that when she really is a sweetie pie. I do see it tho. Its just the way she carries herself. She walks tall with her head held high but like me she doesn’t have a smiley disposition so she always looks bored. When I take her out I am always looking at her to make sure she is entertained and if she is having fun it doesn’t really show on her face. So I always ask “D you ok?” She tells me “I am fine. I am having fun.” I try to smile more but It is soo hard. I have to always have my mind on smiling for me to just look like that. And I am sorry but life is moving too fast for me to just always be self consciously thinking about smiling. Too much work. I smile and then a few seconds later I am right back to my regular ole mean mugging bored as hell look.

Step2

• Remember that you should accept other people for who they are. The world would be a very boring place if everyone was the same. People are different and that’s what makes them who they are.

I do accept people for who they are thats why I don’t understand why people don’t just accept me for who I am …NEXT!

Step3

• Respect everyone you meet. This doesn’t mean that you have to be their best friend, but say “hello,” smile and be friendly. Show a genuine interest in other people and show concern for issues that they may be dealing with. Have concern for people’s feelings.

I could use a little work on this but if anyone goes out of their way to talk to me I do smile and greet them with a warm hello. I do show concern for peoples issues. I am sometimes blunt and direct so I could do a little better about having concern for their feelings but thats just me.

Step4

• Look at yourself. Decide what makes you come off as a snob. Maybe you are so busy and thinking about your life, you don’t smile at people. This would make you look like a snob. On the other hand, maybe you grew up as a very popular person, and began to think subconsciously you were better than some people were.

The highlighted part is definitely me and my bf has told me that I look soo serious sometimes kinda like I wanna kill someone. I am such a serious person and I am an Aquarius remember so we smart, always thinking and creating new ideas so I don’t really have time to think about a smile and guess thats what it is all boiling down too. A smile. My Aunt even said I should smile more. Damn my father and his bad traits giving me his unsmiling grouchy face look.

Step5

• Be outgoing when you are around other people. Be talkative and initiate conversations with people. Sometimes being shy and quiet can make people mistakenly think that you are actually being snobbish.

And this will never be me. I have come out of my shell a lot since school days but I have never been the talkative type. I am me. Its funny how this article says to accept people for who they are but I have to change me.

But to sum it all up yes I will try to smile more been trying to do this for years tho. To my aunt No I am not a snobb . I may have snobbish ways but if you take to time to get to know me and look past the exterior you may like what you see.

-The Farthest I Can Please You Is To Just Be Me. I Stay True And Say How I Feel .. And Thats Really Too Bad If You Don’t Like My Swag..

Lonely

I am an Aquarius so I am always thinking thinking thinking which tends to cause problems for me because I get really depressed when I think and am faced with MY REALITY. I hate feeling sorry for myself. Like woe is me…nobody loves me…but after feeling that way and having a good cry about it I always somehow feel better.

I usually avoid this by trying to not think about the fact that I am lonely but when I think about it and I go over all that I have went thru and what I am left with I get depressed. I try to be optimistic about the situation like “oh God is blessing me to have a steady job and survive and be able to pay bills” but life is about more than just that isnt it.

When I overthink things too it causes problems for me and my bf because I push him away. I become afraid of someone else in this world leaving me yet again that I try to push him away before he leaves. I just don’t think that I could suffer thru it anymore. He always tries to convince me of how much he really loves me and he shoudn’t have to do that. One day I am going to push him away and he will be gone forever. Its happened almost twice already that I ran him off but he came back. My ex did this to me so I should know how it feels to be pushed away. I put up with it for close to 7 years and now I am treating my bf like this when he is a good person and doesn’t deserve it. He deserves to be happy which is why he shouldn’t be with me.

I do depend on my bf too much for my own happiness and I am afraid of that. He brings me soo much happiness and makes me forget all about my loneliness that if we break up I wouldn’t die but I would want to. I took a big lost when my father died in Sept and when me and my aunt fell out yet again because those two where the only ones that I felt who cared about me because they called and checked up on me a lot.

Lately I have been thinking, and yes my crazy self did tell my boyfriend this If he decided to one day kill me no one would miss me? No on in my family calls to check on me. I don’t have any friends. Lord my body could lay up in this house for at least a year and no one would even know it.

I mean what is it about me. God doesn’t give you too much to handle they say and I am able to handle it but why should I have to. I dealt with my mothers death, my brother’s death, me and my ex breaking up, my fathers death, me and my aunt no longer talking and having no friends.

When I went to my cousin’s wedding, I was embraced and I felt like I was apart of the family. People I haven’t seen in years was hugging me and looking at me strangely making it seem like I am the one being the outsider. They only know what they are told and that isn’t the case. They make it seem like I am the one that doesn’t want to come around. The only way I feel they should be able to say that is if they were actually making an effort too and I was not responding to their effort. No one calls me and no one invites me over on holidays and I think that is really shitty to be honest because they know that I don’t have any family so the nice thing to do would be to invite me at least. Thats what a family is supposed to do. Instead they leave me out and just go on about their business acting like “oh Chris just want to be by herself and she doesn’t want to come around us or whatever so forget about her.” At least thats what it seems like how they are acting.

I have always been kind of quiet and to myself so its hard for me to take the initiative but why is it soo hard for them to embrace me. On Independence day I pointed all this out to my bf he was like why don’t you call them. Why should I have to? He mentioned before that they were the big group so some shit about me having to go to the group instead of them coming to me. Umm okay so If I dont go to the group as you say they just leave me out. Why should I even care? I used to not care but like I said things have been difficult for me since I lost my father.

I been taking a long look at myself like what is about me that makes people not want to embrace me. As a child I was spoiled and I got all the attention. Everyone loved me. I had more friends in elementary school than I ever did. My house was the place to be. All that changed around the age of 11. I know I am not the friendly type but alot of people are not friendly and have alot of friends. Why can’t people accept me. I am not a bad person.

I love writing in this blog it’s soo therapeutic. I want to write more often but I am lazy. But yea even with this blog I have what 2 readers. I may have more but they don’t comment. I am thinking about just making it my own private blog since no one reads it anyway.

Maybe I should start a family of my own. I sound like one of them kids off of talk shows wanting to have a baby so that I could have someone to love me but no I want to have a baby to replace the family that I don’t have. I told the boyfriend I wish I could have 10 kids. If I had the money I would adopt all of the unloved kids in the world that have lost their family or have been thrown away and made to feel unwanted.

For those of you that have a loving family be happy about that. If you have an overprotective mother relish that. Don’t take that for granted please. You never know what you have until its gone.

Love Is…

“Love is considered the most basic emotion that human awareness can feel; therefore, it is the closest to the source of life.”

–Deepak Chopra in Ageless Body, Timeless Mind

I was a Bridezilla and I wasn’t even the bride…lol

As you all know from a previous post my cousin tied the knot recently. It was a beautiful ceremony or so I heard. I wouldn’t know because I did miss it.

Lawd hammercy I felt like the bride the way I was running around getting ready for HER wedding. My boo got off around 2 ish and he did have a nice shirt to wear that he had only wore once however he did need to buy some dress pants and a tie (he didn’t want to wear one tho but I insisted). I basically already had my dress and only needed some stockings and accessories to complete my look. So why o why did I want to go look for another dress? I wasn’t really comfortable with the dress I did have . I thought it was plain and I wanted to get something else. It really was a nice dress tho I was just tripping. So we ended up wasting an hour at Ashley Stewarts trying on dresses when I ended up not getting a new dress but I did come out with a nice silver chain necklace and some silver earrings. Thats ALL I should have went there for in the beginning.

Off we went to Walmart to get boo his slacks and a tie..relatively easy. Men are soo easy to shop for I swear. When we came out of Walmart, I remembered I needed stockings so we stopped by Cato’s across from Walmart. Cato’s is where I always buy stockings but this particular Cato’s doesn’t sell stockings…..ummmm this is the beginning of my simmering upset-ed-ness. From here I had no idea where to get stockings. I don’t go to church and never wear dresses so I had no clue? Sooo from there we just went back to the house to get dressed. By the time we got there it was already after 4…I am steaming now because I am trying to get ready but at the same time upset that I have no stockings. We both have to take showers and I have to do my makeup so I already know that I am going to be late to this shindig.

Damn my honey looked good all shaved up and dressed. I looked quite sexy myself. We ended up leaving the house 10 minutes to 5 o clock and the wedding starts at 5 and it was on the other side of town and I still had to go find some stockings. If my legs was shaved up I probably would have lotioned them babies and said forget it. I had no time to shave and didnt even have a razor so off we went to Walmart where we were originally at before because I all of a sudden remembered that they sold stockings. I had forgot. Doesn’t matter because they didn’t even have my size. I need to lose some fucking weight for real. You just don’t know how mad that  fucking made me. I spent close to 30 minutes opening up stockings and trying them on in a dirty as bathroom. Some uknown wetness on my foot (my guess piss…eww!!) I must have tried on at least 5 pairs and none of them worked. I guess I stole ’em because I left them all there in that restroom and didn’t pay for shit. I am not even that trifling but I was that day. I was too thru.

But I had to do something. My legs wasn’t shaved….I wasn’t comfortable with the dress because I felt it was too short for me so I put on a pair of ugly ass black pants in the restroom, scanned the tag at self-checkout and called it a day. I was too mad and exhausted and felt ugly because I had been sweating from my little adventure and my makeup wasn’t looking as fresh as it was 30 minutes before and boy was I glad my boyfriend did not come inside with me because i would have been too embarrasssed. Hell I told him later he should have come in with me because I knew that dress was too short I felt like a piece of meat the way every guy was eyeing me. I don’t know how you girls do it but I am soo uncomfortable with all that attention. I sometimes be like dang I don’t get looked at much anymore since I gained weight but hell if I want the attention all I got to do is put on that dress and go inside of Walmart I will get more attention than I bargained for ….everytime!

Anyway when I got in the truck I didn’t even wanna go but I knew that I had to because it was my cousins wedding and I told her I was coming. Man I was soo freaking frustrated. I fixed my makeup in the car mad that I made him wear a tie but me looking all stupid with a dress and some pants on. And to top it off it started raining. He tried to talk me out of going but i told him do you want our wedding to not have any patrons because best believe if I don’t show up for hers she will not be at mine. I know my family. So we got to their side of town pretty fast. It was almost 6 when we got there. Th reception was down the street from the church and when we saw the last people was leaving the church we just headed to the reception hall.

Long story short I ended up having a good time. I saw some people I hadn’t seen in years. Me and my man looked like celebrities I swear compared to the way some people showed up there. Some dude had on jeans and a t-shirt. My man was like “see that boy hood mayne thats what I’m talking about.” I just looked at him. The food was fantabulous. I love my uncle cooking. Her daddy payed for everything. I am shocked. They did have beer, Gin, and Vokda. I drunk a couple of beers and baby had some some Vodka straight. They only gave him a couple of shots each time and he was mad because he didn’t get tipsy. We only buy 100 proof. But all was well when my cousin Irene showed up. We a month apart and I hadn’t seen this girl in soo long. We went to her truck and got blowed on some green before we left and all was well lol.

Oh and me and my Aunt kinda made up . Remember we kinda fell out in this post https://misschriss.wordpress.com/2008/02/23/update-my-aunt/ but i love my aunt and have since forgiven long time ago I let go. I just know to keep my guard up. My cousin actually called me the day of the wedding and mentioned my aunt called her to say if I didnt have a ride she would take me but did not want to call me. Funny. At the wedding she was asking my bf when he was going to make it official with me. Embarrassing. Putting him on the spot like that. They started discussing rings and she told him that she knew of a hook up she could let him in on because I told her he didn’t have the money for the ring. Funny I was like should ya’ll really be discussing this around me. Really? I felt like I really was loved and had family because of the way I was embraced but you know how it is everybody wanna act like a family on weddings and funerals and then back to how it originally was. Oh well.

Eb The Celeb Tagged Me.

Yep. I have been tagged by the most beautiful “Eb The Celeb”. My first time being tagged…how cute! Thanks girl. I barely listen to the radio because the radio is crap. But there are a few crappish songs I guess that do get me jumpin! jumpin!

These are the instructions :
“List seven songs that you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.”

1. Rihanna “Take a Bow”
2. Plies “Bust it baby” remix feat Ne-Yo
3. Marvin Sapp “Never Would Have Made It”
4. Ray J “Sexy Can I”
5. Keyshia Cole “Heaven Sent”
6. Mariah Carey “Touch My Body”
7. Rihanna “Don’t Stop The Music”

I am tagging anyone that reads this and wants to do this. Have fun